The Fellowship

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Good bye

Year 2006 has been an year of buh-byes. And sometimes, these buh-byes compound - like the one huge compounded buh-bye i've had to say here.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

inner glow - reprise

Why do...
we only want a field we can run through
we only want a beat we can drum to
we only want rhythm we can tune to
we only want a dream we can flaunt to
we only want to sing when we want to
we only want a track we can dance to.

we don't live life on a playground
riding a fucking merry-go-round
trying to look like we belong
whether right or wrong
and even if we do belong
trying to prove we're strong.

got to let the odds slide
advantage to the other side
let go of the pride inside
but we know that we really tried
to keep our aching-celebrating inner glow alive.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Diner Yack - 2

'tis been around an year to this incident and here is how i recall it. 'twere those days in school a li'l while before my defense when working through the nights was a given... It was 7-ish in the morning, casually dressed in faded denims, a checked white shirt and a grey sweater, i stepped out of my apartment flipping on my new black leather sandals... I was headed to Jack-in-the-box for a quick breakfast. Like i've mentioned before, i went there often because more usually than not, my meals there were either oversized or underpaid... and all for flashing a smile and saying a loud good whatever-part-of-the-day-it-was. Let me just take a second to thank the lady at the counter who apparently "liked my t-shirts"...

Anyway... so on this particular day, there's this group of 3 (a guy n 2 girls) at the counter, standing right in front. All three of them in torn jeans, sweats and pumps...

Girl1: How do i look today ?

Guy: The usual. Good.

Girl1: And my hair ?

Guy: it's the same isn't it ??? "no styling points there..."

Girl1 @ 2: What do u think ?

Girl2: Oh my Goooooood... Did u get those cherry colored highlights ???

Girl1 @ Guy: Seeeee... you don't pay attention... and yada yada yada.. blah blah blah

And i can't stop grinning... The three of 'em fetch their order and move to a table where they continue their high decibel yack. After a few minutes, I fetch my tray and seat my behind on a table right across their table, eager to catch up on their conversation. Much to my surprise, the guy waves his hands to catch my attention.

Guy: How you doin ?

Me: How yooooou doin ?

Guy: Mind if i ask you a question ? These girls here wonder if you're gay !!!

A very discombobulated Me: NO. I'M NOT.

Guy: Just that you look so prim and there's a gay parade today.

Me: I'm headed to no gay parade. I've an exam to take in a while.

Guy: So, dressing well is a feel-good exam thing ?

By this time i've had it and want to end the conversation.

Me: No. I dress natty for a prof of mine who i suppose is gay. Urgh.

And i walk off...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

kaisa yeh mann baawara
ummeed se baandhe honsla
sung na saathi na rehmat ki dua
beech toofan, jalane shama chala
lo, mann toh mara mann-chala.

* * *

bhaag dost yeh zindagi ki daud
adhoore khwabon ko peeche chod
toote rishton ko phir se jod
apne ishaaron pe raston ko mod
har fizool bandish ko tod
bhaag dost yeh zindagi ki daud.

* * *

ek aakhri khwaish howe
mann meeth se milne do
maut bulaawe na aawe
uski aahat toh sun ne do.

* * *

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

fave quote

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take
but by the number of moments that take your breath away. "

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Halloween dialogue

Here's a little snippet.

Bunch of clowns : Why aren't you in costume ?
Moi : I AM in costume.
BOC : What are you dressed as ?
Moi : Alien, Resident-Alien.

puzzled silence !!!

For those who can relate, the joke is on USCIS.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I Miss You

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

-Incubus (I Miss You)

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


my yesterday is under seige,
my today I cannot seize,
will my tomorrow capsize ?

Monday, October 16, 2006


It's been some black some white and all shades of grey to fill in the spaces of time. The clock continues to step a tick and hop a tock away with no recollection of the moment elapsed nor with any signs of forcefed empathy. Life is zip-zot without purpose and time's worth a factor of zilch. With the last binding string cut loose, I drift into emptiness gulfed by loneliness. Ironically though, it's hard to find clarity amidst vast spaces of nothing; going nowhere.

The radio echoed a static buzz which was lesser devil compared to deafening silence. Adjunct to the racing clock is the bottle of scotch gleaming in all its glory. Clear and crisp and at an arms distance, it's the only company i've had all evening. The good friend that it was, it got to me fighting the
cold and leaving no rock unturned... but with every gulp, it seemed to fume at the lackadaisical welcome and that only fogged my brains. Floating in those clouds was a message in response to my S.O.S. and before i knew it, my fingers tickled the num-pad and i heard a voice on the other end of the cord yell... Goooo toooo hell !!! ... and then, for the first time in months the radio boomed...

"No stop signs, speed limit

Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me round
Hey Satan, payin' my dues
Playing in a rocking band
Hey Momma, look at me
I'm on my way to the promised land

I'm on the highway to hell
Don't stop me.

And I'm going down, all the way down
I'm on the highway to hell."

Saturday, October 07, 2006

mystery goes out the window...

Anu Russell has thrown me some bait, and i shall take it... How am i to resist when she showers praise like "writes like a poet! Wait he is one!"... So, here are some easy 25 questions to answer...

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
I was hoping this will be a figure page but then here is what line 4 says. "Press pusher C to recall laps." LOL. That's the instruction manual for my Fossil.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
It went around the world to meet my right hand. So ?

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The tiny little dot on the picture tube. 'twas Scrubs before that.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
6:38 pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
7:42 pm. Gosh, i should start wearing my fossil.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Chitter-chatter of the rain outside, the rustle of the blinds, and the floor fan's drone.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Been an hour i suppose... Was out discarding trash. LOL.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

9. What are you wearing?
A smile and a Hollister perfume among other things.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yup, unusually so...

11. When did you last laugh?
I laughed when i was Happy Singh.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A kleptomaniac, a Blockbuster flyer for free movie rentals and the remains of a dead spider which i killed by aiming a tennis ball at it... I didn't want to be spiderman.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
In the world of freaks, there is no weirdness...

14. What do you think of this quiz?
'twas OK until it asked me to think.

15. What is the last film you saw?
A re-run of Gladiator. That flick never gets old. Let's see, "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the north, general of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius - father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and i will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." That's one of my favorite lines from cinema...

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I'd buy Rupees with $s, pack my bags and live a king sized Indian life.

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
I wish to be a professional whistler in the music industry...

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
That's for the Miss Universe or Miss World aspirants to answer. Spare me. I can't let my plans be known...

19. Do you like to dance?
Yup. I'm trying to learn chicken dance.

20. George Bush.
Who ?

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
LOL. I've lost all naming rights. I like Qamra though. It means the moon in arabic. yes... yes, i'm obsessed with everything to do with the moon.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
hehehe... no rights to this one either... Bond, James Bond is a filler answer far from the truth...

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Continue living ? Possibly so. But i long to go back.

24. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"kitne aadmi the ???"

25. 5 people who must also do this in their blog.
Adolph Hitler
Napoleon Bonaparte
Leonardo da Vinci
Genghis Khan
Tutankhamun / Tutankhamen

Thursday, October 05, 2006

rescue me

"Too fast" says a friend mine, but there's no stopping the hands of time while i set sail with the sands of time. Fighting all reason eye-for-eye, i'm trying to not let love pass me by. I tire by sunrise... and fall into the lap of paradise... With shut eyes i still can see, your haloed glow that surrounds me. But that tear in your moist eyes, maims my heart and leaves me paralyzed.

In a moment my senses are zapped, i'm transported to hell's gate from paradise. Floating in the mire of secrets of your heart is the wreckage of many broken dreams... i'm here to be the gentle light that shoos away the dark night.... but i'm only a flicker; careless words can undo me... only careless words can undo me...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

when my body left my soul...

Today, i wish to bury my face in dirt... dirt washes easier than blood, they say... but can your blood wash this dirt away ???
fool's gold is your world is worth real gold in a fool's world..
time for my swan song ? NOT YET.
goodbye body. i'll live with my soul.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

twilight narrative

'twas supposed to be just another after hour saunter. after all 'twas the one thing i did as religiously as the dead. every night i moved to the werewolf's call under the moon lit sky. it wasn't hypnosis or halucination... it wasn't a trance; nor was it transcendental by any means... 'twas just a case of bliss by oblivion; a syndrome caused when -OH > H2O. Nothing was different today.... not yet... that would change though; tonight. when the insomniac in me woke up from a power wink, my bloodshot eyes were staring at a door. that was normal. There were termites but they dated back way beyond the oldest file archived in my memory. They seemed to be playing host to visitors and/or friends, the maggots. way not to be clanish, i thought. i didn't want to wreck the party but i had to go on with my compulsive jaunt. i pushed the door but it wouldn't budge. pushed harder and dirt sprinkled down the crack. kicked harder and more dirt came pouring down.

i fought my way out of solitary confinement. floated through the misty darkness. i should have been here yesterday but it felt like it has been ages. the monsoons made the woods dense. the undergrowth was thick. that didnt stop me from gathering some remnant memories though. but in wake of my daily jaunts, there seemed to none. no wake that is. this couldn't be a dream. it's too true to be one. but then it's not like how i remember it either. i sat on the cold stone by the little girl's grave. it was colder than usual. like it had died the last time i left. i usually liked the calm here but today the silence was deafening. too much had changed too fast. i wasn't ready for this bargain and i had to head back to the only other place i knew; the place i came from. i found my way to my tomb. a familiar epitaph with an epithet blurred by the sands of time. a few words stood out though. love. tons. loads. more. i looked at who lay beside me and then, i wished to die again...

Friday, September 01, 2006

bas ek pal hi mila tha jeene ke liye
dekh unhein hanste, hum bhi muskuraliye
wahi pal mein hum ek dastaan likh gaye
dil mein unki apni pehchaan chod gaye...

ek andhiyaari raat ko roshan karne ke liye
kisi jugnoo ki tarah hum jalte chale gaye
ek pal ka aashiyaan dhoondhne jab chale
bhatakti raahon mein khote chale gaye...

phir ek titli ke dikhaye raah pe chal diye
baharon mein khushiyan batorte chale gaye
karz rahi yeh khushiyan jeewan bhar ke liye
lutate rahe apni jaan, woh chukta karne ke liye.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

... adrift ....

Lost in a land, my very own,
where skys are blessed with a bleeding heart,
gentle shower - sweet rain,
washes tears, purges pain...
a scent of dust, very well known,
brings back memories, random darts,
while in agony with a shooting pain,
rainbow hues in the evening sky,
with a new lease of life, they save the day...
They then give way to a clear night sky,
where the moon rules in haloed ways,
and angels play with shooting stars,
a second at a time the clock ticks away...
scarlet red dawn ushers a new day,
alarm dings, reality stings,
dreamy eyed i wake up,
lost in a world my very own...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Hate Me

A gush of sudden emotion
has flash floods in my head,
a prairie of Capgras delusions
and memories' sanctuary dead...
but every one of your words echoes
as dreams die a screaming death,
but i refuse to share my woes
even as i cry tears of blood...

and all i can ever think is...
if you hate me today... ???
will you hate me tomorrow... ???
is it the only way to see what's good for you ???

All you wanted is a li'l peace
and a kiss that could hardly tell,
It is I who wanted more space
and with beaming pride i swelled...
but you did put it up in my face
when you cast love's last spell
its now an open-n-shut case
and yes, i've been felled...

and all i can ever think is...
if you hate me today... ???
will you hate me tomorrow... ???
is it the only way to see what's good for you ???

Now i burn in compunction
and you remain chary of my word,
i dont ask for compassion,
i thank your suicidal hate...
i'm waging battles with self
'n i shall never return...
for one last time i thank your help
and that smile lingers around every turn...

And all i ask for you is to...

"Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you...

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you..."

Friday, August 04, 2006


Lemontree got me by the scuff of the collar. There's a job to be done. A tag. So let me just get to the fun part extemporaneously.

i am thinking about...
november, a silver jag, a drive, a song, a walk, a hike, sky diving, white water rafting and a lot more with carpe diem-ish enthusiasm.

i said...
smart aleck stuff which has gotten me into a lot of trouble.

i want to...
fly kites and crash them into planes.

i wish...
for the anti-being/article/instance of what i really want.

i hear...
hymns in the dark, whispers in daylight, and the kettle drum roll before all "bada booms".

i wonder...
how people don't get tired of themselves. I've had enough of me; I want to swap souls. I also wonder if all dogs bark in the same language.

i regret...
not being opportunistic.

i am...
an important cog in a system of Gods.

i dance...
as well as anyone can with two left feet and two right hands.

i sing...
to put myself to sleep and to keep my brother awake.

i cry...
crocodile tears to pull off a shenanigan.

i am not always...
sarcastic, curt and snobbish.

i make with my hands...
a couple of shadow puppets, bad cracking noises and sad attempts at sand castles.

i write...
in spurts. With my fingers on the keyboard, i type till i have to think again. Thats when i stop.

i confuse...
people around me. Its fun to keep 'em guessing.

i need…
some favorable synergy happening to get all that i've ever wanted in my life. I need to hear a voice to get me thru' each day. I need to sense a giggle to keep me smiling. I need to work a few things out in a hurry.

I tag.......
Anu Russell
M (tread softly upon)
Isis Panthea
Second Wind
Truth Fairy

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase oblige. :)

Monday, July 31, 2006

... and that is how my seconds unfold...

I loved my poison,
i loved it sweet...
what's lost is forgotten
in a heartbeat...

The second scent
is only a whiff
the second shot
is but a chance

the second glance
is a final twist
to a tale as hazy
as morning mist.

the second word
does the trick
you need no sword
when words prick...

my second wish
is death's kiss
to all my dish
that went amiss...

my second turn
at an awaited tryst
guarantees an ending
so very crisp.

PS: and that is post # 100 :)

Sunday, July 23, 2006


who's to say what's top and bottom,
i'm'na turn the whole thing upside down,
tonight my imagination catches flight
and there's no stopping curiosity...

who's to differentiate right from wrong,
i'm'na turn ur perspective around,
my sight chases a distant kite,
just as my flight catches wind...

who's to say what's done can't be undone,
i'm'na flip the hourglass around,
my sails catch the westward wind,
one glide is all it takes to rediscover time...

who's to say what's whack; what's not,
counter spin your brain around,
u'll see that tizzy is the state to be,
to be high and floating around cloud nine...

who's to say what's noise from sound,
i'm'na tune u to mother nature's song,
give your brains the needed wings,
be an aide to my quest for abstraction...

who's to say what's beautiful; what's not
i'm'na turn the fish bowl around,
what you see bottom-up,
is the truth unknown top-down...

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Weirdo !!! Me ??? Really ???

The princess is looking for a few chuckles, i suppose. I shall not challenge her autocracy and for the lack of other choice, i choose to be complaisant. According to her wish or as are the rules of the tag, I will list 5 POSSIBLE instances of quirky behavior / weirdness intrinsic to being me. Fortunately for me though, i am plentifully equipped with irregular brain cells and a copious abundance of bizarreness flows in my arteries and veins. So, here we go...

1, The digital volumo-meter on any audio-visual device at my place has to read one of the following levels. {2, 8, 16, 22, 28}. 13 might sometimes be an allowed level. If the sound is too hard on my ears or hard to hear, i'll bring in an amplifier with analog tuning capabilities, but the numbers have to stick.

2, I have a constant feeling of deja vu. I feel like i have dreamt a lot of things happening to me. It's like i'm living a dream. The bad kind.

3, My mom says that as a li'l kid, tearing a newspaper was my favorite activity. These days, tearing
my own junk mail is. It's an art. To have perfectly alligned edges overlap is sooo satisfying... However, my favorite part is the music. Yes, the sound of tearing paper is music to my ears.

4, I have a constant itch. An itch to re-arrange the planets in the solar system in the order of growing radii. Besides, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neputne have no business having 63, 47, 27 and 13 moons respectively.

5. So, i'm not as obsessive about dental hygiene as some of my other buds are, but i do like having white teeth... I brush my teeth in 8 different angles and clock or count-down the time i spend at each.

Guess that does it... LOL, it hardly took any time... Pardon my pseudo-existence and before i drift back into oblivion, here'z the guys i pass the baton to...

Second Wind
Isis Panthea
Anu Russell


Thursday, June 22, 2006

ekla chalo

'twas then the time to make amends
and work on terms of endearment,
but you lived on an enchanted dream,
bothered not of love forlorn.

now is my time to walk alone,
show me not your compassion;
in my head a requiem drones,
as i tread my path to perdition.

... ... ...

Future beckons. It does. Every single day, I'm bombarded with emails from the future. Here's proof ^ ^

Look at the date on the far right. The emails are all written in UULFAC. UULFAC stands for Unified Universal Language of Funny Alphanumeric Characters. Apparently, the language will be invented by ME two years from now (June 21, 2008). The omnipotent language will be invented so as to enable people, computers, zombies, gizmos and altoids to speak the same language. Yes, citrus altoids and tangerine sours will also speak the same language. Anywho, according to the emails, i am no longer alive in 2038. The world happens to be in dire straits and help is needed from the most fertile brains that have ever existed, and hence the deluge of emails. So fellas, I'll be gone a while. I'm off to the future and when i'm back, i shall have a lot more answers and a lot more to write about. Mr. Bombastic is on fire, isn't he ? ;) So long then. Behave.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

fine wine takes time...

I've been wanting to write for a while now... It's not that i have nothing to write (or for that matter set right) nor do i have a revelation to make, but there is too much of the gloom-n-doom flu going around and i feel like my own mood partakes and exudes such negative vibe that i'd be better off sparing my readers worldwide... Not really, but that is as much as an excuse i could concoct without having to malign anonymous google searchers who find their way here.

Speaking of cussing, i've been honing my skills... I watched "Yo Momma" over the weekend. Y'know the show where the contestants are rewarded for churning out slanderous filth. The winner came up with a masterpiece; "Yo Momma is so fat, Jesus can't lift her soul". I think it's witty, hilarious and it's got the zing...

Anywho, on a totally unrelated note, this blog completes 1 year of existence. Though it's used a face lift or two and has been re-christened from the original "Neurotic Rumble" to "Yakety-Yak" to the current "Moon's Croon" (which i think i will keep for life), it has survived the test of time... And if a priori behavioral analysis bears any guesstimative capabilities, then it means that barring any jinx or untoward incidents, posts here will continue to rattle middle earth like a semi-dormant-semi-active volcano.

Wishing y'all peace and prosperity.

PS: I'm also close to the 100 post count.. COOL.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Irony strikes

Missing conspicuously
is good morning sunshine;
One estranged soul
is sweating like a swine;
Blurred by tears
is a glimpse of his smile,
The art of deceit,
done with such guile.

Thus first met my body and soul,
endeavored towards a concurrent goal...
Born was I, on this very day,
it must've been a new-moon day...
Unlike today, a no-moon day,
i've died a thousand deaths today.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Scars from the past ...

Anu seems to have recently chronicled a few accidents she was involved in; and to my freaky surprise, one of the accidents happens to be eerily similar. Ever since, I've wanted to do a post commemorating a couple of accidents that left behind some bodily memorabilia. Before i start, let me just preface the episodes to follow by saying that i grew up like most normal boys, with a penchant for speed, thrill and risk taking... and also, a boy always gotta do what he gotta do...

Sope, look deep into the 32-bit color screen that you have and imagine that we have a black-n-white helix spiraling into the unknown and merging into a peppered dark sky and slowly but gradually the focus shifts to life set in a sepia tone.... and ta-daaaaa.... you've just traversed through time in a very doordarshan-istic style and rolled back 6 years on your calendar...

Episode 1: Shaken, not stirred.
On one not-so-beautiful summer afternoon, it so happens that i am in a hurry to get home to meet my uncle who just arrived from a very foriegn land called the United States of America... So far, I'd made it to Tarnaka all the way from college, already having travelled 25+ km... Just one last bus and 2.5 km more to get home... Having been through all the dhakka-mukki in the sweltering summer heat, i decided to take a gamble and board a running bus at the cross-section instead of waiting at the bus stand which was insanely crowded... I get to the cross-section and just as I position myself about 20 m from it, i see an approaching bus. It was unusually empty for that time of the day !!! After double-checking the number on the bus, i just take it that it is a "God-send" and I go for it... I start running, get to the speed of the bus as the back entrance of the bus is just beside me and then it's one last easy jump onto the bus... Perfect boarding, and why not ??? I had 6 -7 years of experience doing it... I occupy a window seat, and just as i take off my college bagpack, i notice that everybody is staring at me, and that the conductor was a lady. One more look around and i knew i was on the wrong bus; I was on a ladies-only bus. I'd heard horror stories of men being beaten for having boarded such buses and i was embarassed as it is.... soooo, i mumbled something like "oh! sorry" and dashed for the exit even as the conductor was explaining that i could get off at the next stop. The bus was still catching speed and i felt like i could get off... I made the jump, with perfect landing mechanics and it was all good. ALMOST. The tail end of my bag's shoulder strap got caught somewhere on the bus and i literally got yanked by the shoulder and was dragged for a good 10 feet or so... Luckily, the strap gave way and i landed on my back cushoned by my backpack but i couldnt avoid a thud to my head... I've been an eda ever since... I went home in torn jeans with a ragged backpack, somewhat bruised, somewhat shaken and somewhat thankful that the white Ambassador car behind breaked just short of my legs....

Episode 2: Sculpting secrets.
Shifting to darker sepia tones, enough to chip and chisel another year-or-so off of the calendar, this incident happened just after my engineering entrance examination. My friend and I decided to visit another friend who'd just shifted from Hyderabad to Guntur... Our trip was great fun and so was the ride back... We'd get off the train at every station, get something to eat or spend time at the book stall or talk to the beggars (which was a favorite group activity) or just look around and get back onboard just as the train got rolling... Just as Sec'bad station was around the corner, we guys decided to get off the train running... Getting off closer to the first exit would make it easier to get to the bus-station; besides, we guys got off moving buses every day and this was no different. ACTUALLY NOT. The differences are
  1. The train is usually moving faster than you think it is.
  2. The platform was on the train's right side, thus necessitating an awkward right foot landing. (The bus' exit is usually on the left side and thus the norm is usually a left foot landing).
  3. The platforms apparently do not provide the same traction that the roads provide, and
  4. We guys were carrying huge 30 lb bagpacks...
Anyway, I was the first to take the jump. First, it seemed like the land had given way the instant i hit the platform and second, the momentum made me fall foward and then the land appreared out of nowhere... On the whole i landed on my behind and did an ass-skate for a good 20 feet at the very least... It was the best ass grinding experience ever, and is the secret behind my shapely heinie. The only scary part was that i was dangerously close to the tracks and could have either easily slipped into the gap between the platform and the train or have been hit by the trains steps... However, i escaped with a lot of scratches, bruises and a red hot arse, PUN VERY INTENDED. My friend did the smart thing and got off further down the platform after the train slowed down and came back trotting to check on me.

Episode 3: Dead man walking.
Tearing a bigger hole into the space-time continuum, let's leap another 18 odd months into the past... Those were my days in junior college (11th/12th grade)... Those were my long hair days... Those were the "you look a lot like the singer Shaan" compliment(???) days... and that was precisely the reason i was growing my hair... I liked Shaan and i did like this tanha dil look... Those were also the 2-years of hell a.k.a IIT grind, which i chose to put myself through... Days started as early as 5 am and ended no earlier than 1 am, weekends or holidays being no exception... 5 mins of doing nothing was a big change and made big difference to the regimen... Regular classes, tutorials, study, assignments, tests and travel took up atleast 18 hours of the day...

Anywhoo, while that was a digression, it provides some necessary background to the singlemost scariest of accidentsi was ever involved in. Once again, on a not-so-beautiful summer afternoon set in darker sepia tones this time, i happen to be waiting at the bus-stop at Narayanguda. An old friend from my under-14 cricket league days appeared (as a "God-send") on his new Hero-Puch and offered to drop me home... We were on the Jamai Osmania University road going towards Tarnaka. Those days, this was the single lane University bypass road. A bus overladen way beyond suggested occupancy pushed us off the road onto the unpaved bumpy sidepath which as it is was a little lower than the road level. K tried to get back onto the road as soon as the bus overtook us but because of the level difference, the tire couldnt climb the step, the handle bar twisted and the vehicle skid.... The Hero-puch skid towards a deep ditch nearby, so K and I had to jump. The Puch landed in the ditch, K ended on the sidepath cushioned by my legs, and i ended flat on the ground, chest and head on the road and the lower body on the sidepath...

Just as i got back to my senses and realised that i was fortunate enough to not have broken any of my 206 bones, i heard a loud blaring horn and screeching tyres; a truck seemed to be on course to squash my head to pulp... With K still on my legs, there was nothing much i could do with a frozen mind and a badly hurting body. I tried to roll, truned my face away and closed my eyes... The screeching sound got louder and somewhere in me, my funny bone tickled and i thought: Soooo this is DOPPLER EFFECT... Then, there was the smell of a burning tyre followed by silence and what felt like a pat on my head... I opened my eyes only to be staring at a truck (lorry) stationed just behind me with a little part of my hair still stuck under the truck's tyre... I was set free by K and eased onto my feet... A whole lot of people seemed to have gathered and only when i saw their expression as witness to a dead-man-walking incident, i realised how short a one-way cruise it could have been to the netherworld.... While most traces of the accident have vanished with time, a 2" x 3" scar on the side of my rib cage still gives me the chills... Oh! btw, the new Hero-puch had to be sold to the junk yard for whatever little money it's metal was worth...

That my friends was the very first time i deceived death and its scheming ways... I've had to do it a few other times... What death doesnt know is that i am willing to die... but only on one particular day of the year... Until the dark-hooded demon figures that out, i shall continue to live... so long...

so long...

Saturday, May 20, 2006


Do you hear me...
when i cry shenanigan ?
Will i ever be...
luck's heralded minion ?

Have i lost...
the fortress of resolve ?
At it's cost...
have i regressed, (?) to evolve ?

*** *** *** *** *** ***

Sunday, May 14, 2006

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."

"We choose to go to the moon,
not because it's easy but because it's hard."
-John F. Kennedy

Thursday, May 11, 2006

done undone...

A lot has happened since i last posted anything worthwhile... Events, some wanted, some wonted, and a good share of otherwise have forced some doing, undoing and unexpected transformations. I've morphed, mutated, moved and been moved in this span...

Few things need to be set right, my head being one of them... When it comes to mind games, the heart beats the brain black-n-blue... Priorities need to be set right... Extrapolating a priori information warns me of impending doom... A part of me is a reclusive spirit and the other part, a praying mantis. The recluse has surrendered to circumstance while the mantis has few devout wishes for survival. There's also been a change in habitat, but it's going to be a while before i have a niche of my own. I've moved to Sunnyvale, and it really ain't so sunny here. The spring weather is great, especially the evenings... Perfect for playing tennis, i feel. Am yet to meet some new-found-old-friends and a certain busy entity as well :P... And oh!, a secret admirer has surfaced on the radar. Two unsolicited emails; one very effusive and the other kinda jejune... I have a feeling that it is a case of mistaken identity... Either this blog or Orkut has been the cluprit. As flattering and touching as these mails are, I can do without them, and I wish that he/she finds the right subject.

Monday, May 01, 2006

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers."

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

and then it dawned on me...

Good news does not bear any joy. It's a strange paradox that seems like burning truth in a sorry sate of affairs. I've worked, planned, toiled and sweat like never before and somehow i'm not really happy with what i got out of it. Things came much easier, when i was less stressed, less organized and less bothered. The paradigm shift has cost me dear and i wonder if maybe, just maybe, i would've been better off in my older shell. I wonder if i'm having to pay for the shift in psycho-balance. Why does an accomplishment have to remind you of what you've been through ? Why does it have to force-feed a feeling of underachievement and incompleteness ? Why does it have to ask if there is anyone else jumping with joy ( Is there ? ) ? It's said that all good things come at a price; but this one time, for the price i've paid, i feel cheated. I cheated Me. Me cheated I.

The last of pining pines and sunny mountain sides

Sunday, April 16, 2006

one candle one wish

Hush little birdy
don't you cry,
feel the embrace
of the clear blue sky.

Lightning strikes
without a word,
you swirl down,
take a dip in the ford.

One flight down
with a broken wing,
you've made your way
to the lap of spring.

Washed by the stream
that guides you to the reef,
on a bed of flowers,
you lay tucked under a leaf.

The soothing wind,
the balmy breeze,
showering more flowers
from surrounding trees.

Go get your dream,
don't give up on life,
drink the nectar,
the elixir of life.

You need to fly,
you need to see,
you need to know
what it is to be free.

Shoot for the moon,
or your guiding star,
it's time to start,
you've got to go far.

To see you fly,
scaling great heights,
beaming with pride,
i'd be soaking in the sights.

So, spread your wings
and fly away,
I still believe,
you've got the zing.

But if you should fall
on a given bad day,
I'm here to guide you
like that little stream...

Dedicated to someone i so dearly adore. My little birdy, Happy Birthday.

PS: How do u like the new look ?

Monday, April 10, 2006

many a slip between the cup and the lip..

An unsuspecting victim
to my voices of treason;
ignored the dictum,
renounced all reason...

Clouding my awareness,
was darkness in the valley;
strange haunting darkness,
looking to stab me in the alley...

voices of treason - head; dictum - heart; reason - truth; awareness - desire; valley - brain; alley - life.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Question for you

When you are happily rolling on your roller chair and happen to roll it on your own feet while you are still sitting on it; your pants get caught in the rollers rendering you immobile and the only way to get your arse's weight off your toes is to fall on the ground face first and your Prof decides to walk in on you at that precise moment, then ...

Friday, April 07, 2006

image hosting by

Is it just me, or can you see the rabbit too ?

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuperr Heeeeerooooooooooooo

Every epoch in history has a superhero of it's own; someone to brag about, someone to revere and that someone whose achievements every little kid wants to emulate... No, i am not talking about the Gandhis and Boses or even the likes of Hitlers and Osama bin Ladens... I am talking about the more brawny men with the chutzpah to match... Over the years, i've dreamt of being Superman, Spiderman, Hulk, one among the GI Joe unit, Robot cop, and even Giant Robot for crying out loud. I didn't ever want to be Heman, coz he is indubitably gay and never ever would i want to be Shaktiman, coz he is just so super-duper lame and has the worst alias ever...

That was a little digression. Anywho, getting back to the point, all those super heroes and their antics are now passe. I've come of age, and want someone else to be my idol. I was looking for someone who doesn't need to save face, someone whose dressing sense is more contemporary and not tarzan-esque, and someone whose idiosyncrasies are unmatched. I only had to close my eyes for the briefest of the microseconds and pretend to think for only a quarter of that time, and i felt enlightened. A haloed image of my superhero-to-be appeared and saved my day and ofcourse this age. The good person that i am, i shall let you in, on this secret. Let me introduce him to you; but only after a few of his exploits...
  • The only time he cried was when he was born. His tears cured cancer. Too bad, he didn't cry again.
  • As a kid, his best friend was his pet unicorn (the last one ever). The unicorn caught mad-unicorn-disease, so he killed the last unicorn with his bare hands.
  • As a 14 year old, he entered a steak eating competetion. He ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour, of which he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Needless to say he won but he was arrested for being "underage".
  • To get out, he broke the prison bars with his shirt that he peed on.
  • He was a Mc Donald's all-American high school basketball player. He could roundhouse fling the ball into the basket from 75 feet every single possession.
  • In college, he turned out to be a math genius. He counted to infinity. TWICE.
  • When in college, he also perfected the art of urinating into the toilet without getting out of bed.
  • He won the all university Connect Four championship game in 3 moves.
  • He practices a new form of yoga which allows him to ingest without swallowing.
  • He has a body deformity. He has no chin behind his beard, he hides his third fist there for a surprise attack.
  • His blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It has a catalytic effect on fuel used in heavy construction equipment, tanks, fighter jets and space-crafts.
  • He now runs a successful business. His chief export is pain.
Such is my superhero... :D... And, if you haven't already guessed, let me introduce you to... oh wait... drumroll please... trumpets too and everybody is requested to stand and salute.... so yes, say hello to the one and the only CHUCK NORRIS.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


it often happens... no head shakes please... and yes, sometimes it often happens that the past comes back to bite you... and when it does so, it goes straight for your arse...

Friday, March 17, 2006

Back to school...

I was a KV student from 1st to 10th standard... Spent all my formative years there... Someone from the alumni group sent an email today with a wiki url for my school, which was sort of cool... But, what isn't on wikipedia right ??? I know, but it still got me reminiscing... While some of the tales from my days in school would live on to be lengends in time, this is one particular funny incident which will be lost in time... So, i thought i might as well record it here...

Anyway, Sanskrit was one of the languages we were taught in school... And Sanskrit classes genereally were a li'l too phylosophical to my liking... So one fine day, while the birds chirped, traffic buzzed, school bells rang, and the band drill sucked, our teacher decides that we the 7th standard children were grown up enough to be explained THE LAW OF CONSERVATION OF SOULS, or rather THE MIGRATORY NATURE OF SOULS... still don't get it ? Well, she was trying to convince us that the body presihed, while the soul attained a new identity and lived on, and all the associated nashwar, ashwar blah... I didn't quite buy it...

Aham: So, souls never die ?
Gajaha: They don't.
Aham: Do they reproduce ?
Gajaha: WHAT ?
Gajaha: NO.
Aham: Then...
Gajaha: What then ?
Aham: Then, why is the population increasing ?

That question of mine remains unanswered till date... I got dissed by her for the next three years... Luckily for me she had no say when it came to my boards... I wish i could paste my final marks on her face...

Monday, March 13, 2006

Duh !!!

The other day, i was watching basketball with a couple of friends... One of them happens to be a PJ expert and was constantly marofying what he is good at marofying; PJs. Anyway, one of his jokes tickled the funny bone and everyone but me bursted out laughing... It's not that i didn't find the joke funny... I actually thought it was giggleworthy, but i was caught in a totally innocent moment, and with a smile on my face, i just said, "LOL". YES, i said those three letters aloud, as a substitue for laughter... and i swear, it wasn't intentional... That was my natural response to humor-stimuli, and that is when i realised, the goo in my top drawer is totally outtawhack.

Anywho, the faux pas was a cackle-breaker, and what ensued was a brief moment of deafening silence when i wished that nobody'd realised what had happened... But then, when have i ever been lucky with my wishes... After being amusingly amazed, the cronies burst out laughing again. Only this time, more fellas had joined in and i was the joke. Oh, and i did graciously join in, but i suppose i should've just said "LOL" again....

On a completely different note, it was a "sea of red" at the stadium... Fans of all ages alike, showing solidarity and supporting the team... The student section is almost always like this but this one time, the whole stadium was red. It's the most amount of red i've ever seen in one place...

Monday, March 06, 2006

...antepenultimate quarter...

I've resisted the inner thrust,
to cave in a momentous outburst;
life sometimes' such a bust,
burning angel wings to dust...
ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
if only it were unequivocally just,
i'd show faith 'n a wee bit more trust...

All is not lost in a battle of will,
for there's life without the frill...
out in the wild, i fight for my kill,
it's no dance, it's not a drill...
my foe mo-fo, welcome your peril,
for your beans, i'm 'bout to spill...

Heaven ain't setting your eyes ablaze,
it's my one shining moment in place...
gave up my worth to be a shooting star,
didnt want to be another forgotten czar...
left you in a daze with a burning scar,
memory in a haze, your end is not far...

Friday, February 24, 2006

Of funky T's

When i'm in a funk, my t-shirts get funky... No kidding. It works. I get the attention, I get the compliments, and they just are a sure shot anti-depressant. Earlier, I wondered if anybody ever noticed or read what was written or printed on t-shirts... Apparently, they do. Where, you ask ??? Well, sidewalks, hallways, restaurant queues, elevators and temples... That sums up about 95% of all the giggles and stares i've garnered... So, here are my fab-five picks:

I don't suffer from insanity,
I enjoy every minute of it.
This T is a favorite with the foodies... It's gotten me free soda, free Tacos and a free sandwich till date.

A clear conscience
is usually a sign of
a bad memory.
Aunt N's favorite... She'z read it a 100 times, and winked a 100 times... A must pack item when i go to Philly.

never looked this good.
I wore it to Birla mandir once... If people could kill with stares, I would be writing this from my grave.

Cartoonish pic of a sperm in shape of a spin vector (Nike's tick).
It's a classic. The first among it's ilk... A favorite with elevator riders...

Gravity is a myth.
Earth sucks !!!
I think students at BITS came up with this for Oasis, 2002. I don't have this one. It tops my wish list. Wonder where i can get one...

The mood is just right for another one of these...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Coool stuff !!!

Paraphrasing the desi guy's "technical jargon" in the Cisco commerical, "The security is in the doohickey next to the blinky thing. Security is everywhere, where the blinky thing is, Sir". That commercial is pretty punny :-)... but i think they could have done without trying to show off a stereotypical desi geek... Anywhoooo, this is how i would describe my work if i was that fella in the commercial...Security lies in the ability of the doohickies (flying in orbital space,) towards generating snazzy images (pic 2) using the jazzy images (pic 3) and eliminating the blinky things in the first peppered map...
On a side note, it's said that life is colorful... Spin it as you wish, but thousands of these images have kept me professionally (or academically) entertained for over two years now... But now, it's time to move on... Not sadly so, but gladly so...

Friday, February 10, 2006


I don't sleep too well... I was just talking to mom and she says i shouldn't be living here... She thinks i sleep/slept much better when i am/was in India. Probably true. Responsibility and accountability are just too much pressure, especially when NOTHING works according to plan. I mean, seriously, there is a dark age, and then life beyond it..., but my Alaskan winter seems to go on for ever... chilling bones to a point where life ceases to exist...

So, have i just used up my good fortune, or is there something about me that just makes lady luck go, "maybe later, later meaning never" *giggly hoo*... ???? I freakin' deserve a break... and like right now... I'm not asking for a bumper prize, a bonanza or even the key to Alibaba's lost treasure... all i want is the freakin map to this no-way-out labyrinth i am stuck in, so i can attack the weakest wall, and hopefully poke a hole to see daylight again...

These past few days have taught me the importance of home base... I need another one of my dad's pep talks... an affirmation that somebody's got my back covered and that i still am worth some damn thing... I'm a rolling ball of schmaltz right now... With every passing tik of the clock, i sink that much deeper in the gulf of nostalgia...

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Diner Yack - 3

Conversations at restaurants and eat-out places can be strange, weird, wicked, humorous, sarcastic, out of place and possibly all of the afore mentioned at the same time... Hmm... and this piece here could be none of the above... :D ... I'll follow this post up with a couple more (when time permits) and they for sure will be more than a case in point for the statement i already made....

So, there is this small Indian kebab place in Tucson on Univ. Blvd., apparently quite popular among the American folk... I loved the Haryali Kebab there... and have been coerced into being one of the regulars there... but like always, too much of a good thing is never too good... so a few days back, i walked in and almost walked out without getting a thing but then changed my mind and got some rice with chicken tikka masala... So, there i am, digging into my lunch, being a good glutton and all... and this girl (tailed by a dude, a possible date) walks over, dips her finger nail in my gravy (well almost), looks me in the eye and says why didn't you ask me to get that ??? I had to counter her, and i had two options in mind, I either go with,
  • I wouldn't get to taste that glitter on your nails then, would I ???..
  • Or, say that i would do so on OUR date.
While i sat there contemplating as to which would be a smarter retort, she asks me what it was... and i shoot a blunt "#8 on the menu"... The couple settle in the booth next to mine and turn their attention to the LCD TV which was playing songs from HUM TUM...

Guy : That dancing dude looks like this crooked nosed actor...

Gal: Who ?

Me thinks : Huh !!!

Guy : That chap, he'zz u know done a few with Ben Stiller...

Gal: err ???

Me thinks: Vince Vaughan... but no, can't be... who else ???

Guy: "I like can't like remember the name... he like did that army like flick... where the force is like trying to get him back and stuff like that you know..."

Gal: Is it like a new one ?

Me thinks: "Like" like beats the $hit out of like any other word like f***, when like counting like the number of times like they use like that word that they like... Oh, and Saving private ryan... ?????? Matt Damon, nay, can't be...

and this that, yuppety-yup and yackety-yack follows, and then,


Gal: OH YEAH !!!

Me thinks: so, starsky and hutch, and behind enemy lines, and the crooked nose, all fine ... But, Saif and Owen Wilson, NO EFFIN WAY !!!!!!!!!!!

what do u guys dig ???

Monday, January 30, 2006

I miss y'all

I haven't seen y'all for a long time now... but lose faith, you may not... I assure you i'll be back... I shall then entertain all with my quirky monologues and together we shall 'brew' folklorish tales of contemporary history.... yes yes, contemporary, history to be... I will lay my arms and surrender to the might of the -OH... i promise to be an influenzen again.

With best regards,

signed and sent to:
Dos Equis
Samuel Adams

Friday, January 20, 2006

belly leaving, belle missing !

One of the comments on crouching tigress' blog reminded me of the song belly of the whale... the song goes something like
"I'm sleepin with fishes here,
In the belly of the whale.
I'm highly nutritious here,
In the belly of the whale."
You can laugh all you want but i really like this 'un coz it totally cracks me up everytime i hear it...

Seems like my insomnia is back to its haunting ways... first the flu and now the insomnia... what's next ??? bring it on i say !!! 2006 hasn't started of great... but the upside is that it can't get any worse... So, last night i was wide awake until 5 am or so... I kept tossing in bed, so much so that, if i were a salad, i would have been wet and dripping in some sweet-n-sour italian dressing... speaking of "wet", wait for my next post to see what a cheap and perverted bastard i can be... LOL... (evil ishtyled laugh)... Anyway, i got up around 4:45 or so and booted gizmo (my laptop) with the intent of putting up a post here... and there ... BAM !!! well actually no BAM... i went Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnn... for the first bloddy time last night ... and promptly settled for the warm comforts of the rug...

and, finally... a note addressed to someone i miss so darn much....

I can talk the talk all day long,
but together we can shout it loud,
I can smile the day away,
but together we can laugh it up,
I can live a good life to my last breath,
but without you, it ain't no celebration unto death...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Life - ain't bizarre

vanilla - night ,
moi - adroit,
time - confused,
lies - speed up the truth,
magic - rush ???
emotional - flush.

perfect - tunes,
fire - without fumes,
caught - in a hutch,
situation - clutch,
under - influence,
missing - confluence,
and - so ???
fools - eat crow.

Friday, January 13, 2006

yikes !!!

I don't know how much truth there is to this article and how old or new it is, but then, here it is for you to be yiked !!!