So...

I was digging us a trench.
.
You thought it to be a grave.
.
I had to bury you.
.
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, indeed.
.
(The) rest (is) in peace now.

So, what do i do?

By profession, i happen to be a fly swatter ... err... bug killer ... err... debugger a.k.a algorithm engineer.

.

So, what does my All-Mumbaikar team do?

Apart from transforming my algorithm to code - under the spell of spiritual and/or celestial influences - they infallibly introduce a 'gochi', do some 'locha', and cry 'jhol'.

.

Now, I'm tempted to call this professional symbiosis but it's more like parasitism. It's quite bugging and debugging, for real.

I didn't really want to put this up but then who's to deny the cold, hard truth, eh? Apparently, my job as a water buffalo is far from done. The last line is a clincher of sorts.

You're The Things They Carried!

by Tim O'Brien

Harsh and bitter, you tell it like it is. This usually comes in short,
dramatic spurts of spilling your guts in various ways. You carry a heavy load, and this
has weighed you down with all the horrors that humanity has to offer. Having seen and
done a great deal that you aren't proud of, you have no choice but to walk forward,
trudging slowly through ongoing mud. In the next life, you will come back as a water
buffalo.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

If Jack Sh!t is Jack's Sh!t then Jack has to be a pretty big man.

My levels of tolerance are on a steep decline. And by that measure, my patience is radioactive. A half life of the order of a couple of days seems about right.

GZ @ 1100 on 22/11/07 : Good morning, Prof..

TP @ 1100+ on 22/11/07 : Happy new year.

And oh, 'Prof.' is thumbs down the worst moniker to have.

Why, Devil, why?

Possibly for sure i'm probably unsure why i don't blog more often.

Dear Mr. Bihari,

Please bear with me. Someday, perhaps not too far in the near future, I shall be competent enough to be able to decrypt every single word you utter. I've made considerable progress at school and I promise to keep up the good work. I was the first to complete my reading lesson at school today. The fact that i was also the first to land on the floor whilst clutching my gut is a testament to my Bihari understanding ability.

Please find my latest lesson attached.

keep the faith,
-S

All in * time...

If I could roll back time, I wouldn't go back any further than the same date of year 2006. That was the day when I was infectiously happy. I could easily have been the jealous target of all other oxygen breathing living forms. I was madly in love.

.

.

.

Today, I'm still in love; with the very same 'crazy diamond'. Today, i'm just NOT the saddest of all alcohol-deprived-concern-consumed living forms on planet earth.

The Hibachi Man - My favorite sportsman!

piqued

If i ever get to meet me, i'll whip myself so good that i wouldn't know what hit me.

Mr. Bihari tastes my patience...

Mr. B: Sir, lets 'taste'!
S: Huh?
Mr. B: 'taaaste', Sir.
S: *(with neither time nor inclination to think/comprehend)* Later.

1 hour later
Mr. B: Ready for 'tasting', Sir?
S: Later.
Mr. B: Can we do it after lunch?
S: Taste after lunch? What? Why?
Mr. B: Sir, you'd mentioned that you are going to have stuff for us to 'taste'.
S: *puzzled* Me? When?
Mr. B: In one of your emails yesterday....
Mr. B: ...the new Kalman filter algorithm that you wrote.
S: Aaaah, sure... now i remember (read understand). Let's begin TESTING. In a minute.

Flowers

Some men never think of it.

You did. You’d come along

And say you’d nearly brought me flowers

But something had gone wrong.

The shop was closed. Or you had doubts -

The sort that minds like ours

Dream up instantly. You thought

I might not want your flowers.

It made me smile and hug you then.

Now I can only smile.

But, look, the flowers you nearly brought

Have lasted all this while.

-Wendy Cope

Lights Out

We’re allowed to talk for ten minutes

about what has happened during the day,

then we have to go to sleep.

It doesn’t matter what we dream about.

-Hugo Williams

fly or not fly

The whack job that i am, my life and my friends (oblivious to circumstance) also have a whack sense of humor. Here's a couple of snippets of conversation i had with two different friends on the same day.

A: Duuuude, how've you been?
S: Long time mate. Been well and all around the park. And you?
A: I knew you'd retrun from the US!
S: How? Why?
A: 'coz you and me are like fly and shit. We are meant to be together.

This got me thinking. I didn't want to be the fly sticking to shit and definitely didn't want to be shit. Silence was my only argument though. Also, realisation struck and the meaning of the song 'Suga Suga, How you get so fly?' then dawned on me. And then, later that day

B: S, are you alright? Sick?
S: Nope. Just haven't slept in two days.
B: No wonder. You look like shit.

LOL

Apparently I cannot access gmail (or other popular email apps) and orkut from work but I'm able to blog though, albeit stealthily. Some bird brained ideas never cease to amaze me.

lizardly surprise

Life does spring surprises at you.

These days when the incessant drizzle does take a breather, the weather is near perfect. Having paid my hafta at the rain Gods' and with due permission, i do sometimes venture out for my irregular routine evening jog.

It gets dark pretty early these days. Also, (hopefully) brief irregular power cuts are to be expected.

One of these times when i was doing my laps around the park, i noticed a stone on the road. The good Samaritan that i'm known to be, i felt for the many cyclists and motorists who could trip or skid. It must also be regrettably noted in much finer and barely readable print that i have a proclivity towards kicking stones and pebbles. The number of pairs of shoes i tore or wore out kicking dirt DO NOT a funny count make.

Anywho, as i moved to kick the stone off the road, the stone sprung... err jumped at me. Startled, i jumped as well. Together, we did the frog trot for a good ten seconds which it survived and then moved on to croak another day. Perhaps kiss another day ? you know the fable, you know the drill !!!

Oddly enough this incident reminds me of a childhood memory. I'd stuck my hand in my pocket to fetch a gummy bear but what i actually found was a lizard's tail. A real one at that. GO FIGURE.

For you, a thousand times over.

You were a perfectly encapsulated morsel of a good past,
a brushstroke of color on the gray, barren canvas that our lives had become.

For you, a thousand times over.

Thank you, Khaled Hosseini for giving words to the expressionless. If i ever get to unburden via a monologue, those would be my first and last lines respectively.

Round # 1

Theme for round # 1 is flowers. Hoping to get to round # 2 next week... Need all the luck. The longer this lasts, the competition gets that much tougher, the photographs get that much better !!! round # 2 will be landscape photography.

UPDATE: I got booted in the very first round. Apparently, the first photograph (blue flower) has very low contrast and doesn't translate well on print (which sadly is true, I should've checked earlier).

memo-ires

Streams of desire dry even as the eyes well up.
Rivers of sorrow swell and swirl in grieving silence.
Stifled heartbeats speak up in muted whispers.
All horrifically fighting for one last claim.
The right to keep one's very own pain.

For pain is a reminder of better times.
Where every memory is knotted in time.
The times when the seasons sang to tune.
when memories were made to relive in dreams.

black flower blossoms

withered this storm
weathered another fall
in the dark before dawn
i await what befalls
...with feathers and
black flower blossoms...
...with feathers and
black flower blossoms...

lighter from confession
burdened by fruition
pain is my impulsion
to fight another dawn
i await what befalls
...with feathers and
black flower blossoms...
...with feathers and
black flower blossoms...

Butterfly

Baptized she was...
with the innocence of a butterfly,
wrapped she is...
with the air of pulchritude,
and all beauty...
genuflects in servile obedience...

I admire her.
I miss her.

Oh God !!! Not again...

I find it rather amusing that even in this day and age of freethinkers, people scoff or give me the frozen-in-time paganist treatment when i announce my being an atheist. It's either that or the you've-caught-the-i-don't-believe-fad bug. For YOUR Pete's sake, give me a break. If i can be accommodating and at worst tolerant to all Gods and their believers, i can't see why there can't be a place for us agnostics.

I've always managed to conveniently steer myself to places more than an earshot's distance away from talk about God, divinity, religion and people who question my reasons. I'll also admit that i'm not confrontational when the use of arms, fists, jabs and punches are disallowed. But then there was this girl i met recently who seemed to have a different question for me, and on a hunch, i let her go ahead with it...

'What?', I said with narrowed eyes.

'How do you explain miracles?', she questioned.

'What?', I repeated my word.

'Miracles. Doctors, scientists, engineers, philosophers have all entrusted God for the same reason', she surmised.

'Well that makes me the outlaw then', I smirked. 'Those are people who are willing to look beyond reason, logic and science. I ain't one of them.'

'Well... so how does your understanding of math or science for that matter explain miracles?', she persisted...

After little thought, 'Miracles are zero probability events. Just because they have a probability of zero doesn't mean they can't happen.'

Manali 04/07

soul for sale...

Sparingly used; touched (only) by one.

urgh !!! grrrrr !!!

"head ek... aur usme bhi headache..."

One of the greatest ironies of my life has been that...
something always changes while i await change.

Pointless, really...

Everything in life takes its own course, doesn’t it? Your dog wouldn’t give a rat’s ass as to how ‘hairy’ or ‘spotty’ you want it to be and your guinea pig wouldn’t get off the wheel (or mill?) even if it meant losing its own fat ass. (A couple of persistent nags just had to let me know.) Pointless again! Just like this blog ‘o mine. The intent was to document my (many concealed) eccentricities and warped opinions on any-and-all issues covering the spectrum between homicidal love and suicidal hate. But, this blog chose to reflect my mood swings and experiences with life. That’s how ‘Neurotic Rumble’ became ‘Moon’s Croon’.

So, who would be interested in my mindless dribble or pithy even? I had to wonder. I was sure you’d find me. Yes, you. I’ll give you that even though it’s child’s play to follow the scent of arrogance. Though what surprised me is that I didn’t comatose you by the end of paragraph one. Again, the credit goes to you.

Now is a good time for some digression. “There is God in each one of us.” Heard that a lot? I have, and in that sense I must be the most naïve atheist ever. Witty and vigilant, I always have my defenses ready every time I’m taking chances with people. Wanting to believe the best in people doesn’t make it true and being afraid to believe doesn’t make it false. Wonder why that didn’t make me hip-ly cynical even though I’ve been known to make easy snide remarks. I wonder why I still think that people are good and am disappointed once and again.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

3rd March, 2007, a date that shall be etched in my memory forever. Just like the other dates i've flagged: 4th July, 2006 and 16th April, 1981. And then there also is the 21st October, 2006, a 'grey' day in my life, which I hope will be a smile-worthy memory sometime along the future.

Today, I met the soul of my life, also fondly named, 'lifeline'. I realize one can get jittery when in touch with one's soul. I reason that this is because there are NO SECRETS, and no matter which mask I draw, my hideous face(s) cannot be camouflaged. Probably the only time a multi-visaged personality such as myself is at risk of being judged for the component elements that make me, ME. The verdict I believe will be feared yet awaited, surmised yet refuted and numbing yet settling.

I also realized that a conversationalist like me who revels in shock and ‘aww’ inspiring narrations or one-liners can be short-worded when there is no eye contact, for eyes are where I draw my cue from. Note that I have no delusions of grandeur and I will never be awe inspiring but I’ve been told that I can be sweet and cute and hence, ‘aww’ inspiring.

So, how do you tell yourself that the one thing you really really want to do- the act that you’ve played and replayed in your head time and again is now inappropriate at the opportune very first tete-a-tete with your soul? I suppose you get fidgety and curse the bad omens which can’t help being ominous. Just FYI, from my experience, that doesn’t help either.

A note to the soul of my life:

I’ve always been so very proud of you but today I have a new found respect way beyond the high esteem I already hold you in. I saw the scars you didn’t deserve and wished that they don’t bring back bitter memories. I ask to be allowed to make whatever little difference I can, in any capacity. In a very selfish way I wish that you be happy because my days can only be as good as yours. I hope that you reach the horizon and touch the sky and I promise to never sap your strength with bitterness or rancor.

dis' up...

I've been MIA for a while now and to say that i've been swamped is putting it rather lightly... This wasn't unprecedented though. I've moved so many times before; only this time it's half way around the globe AGAIN. Talk about coming a full circle; there couldn't be a better case in point. It seems like my immediate future is pretty much in shambles and i'm just not prepared to handle DOA situations right now.

In other news, I met the President (of India) last week. I wish i have the energy he has at his age. Half my frame also happened to make it to the President's webpage. The event and photograph though i think have now been archived. The sad thing though is that this meeting had nothing to do with me. Next time, i'll make sure i have something to do with it, even if it means getting the presidential pardon.

Part pretense
and part gimmick
but no farce
and travesty - none.
A sham if you wish
or shenanigan if you please
but what i really am
is a living charade.

Guy talk...

This is what a round of drinks can do to some very innocent sports talk...

A: What's with KW*. Is the dude going to be back at all this season? Christ.. mono** must be a bitch. It's had him down for months. Weird disease.

B: Mono is terrible. It sucks the life out of you... kind of like marriage. Good thing my girlfriend isn't around !!!

C: Yeah, but Mono isn't fatal. Marriage usually is...

D: Depending on when you contract Marriage, and from whom, marriage can be fatal.

E: Yeah, contracting marriage can, eventually, lead to death. It can also lead to taxes and spam.

F: We're well on our way to a cure in this country. Marriage is terminal less than 50% of the time.

G: Yeah, but unlike chicken pox, you can catch it (marriage) more than once.

H: Some are hoping that the Genome Project takes us to the next level and that scientists are able to wipe out marriage in our time.

I: Marriage is the longest word in the English language... It's a SENTENCE.

LOL. I'll let you guess which one of them i am.

* KW is a hoops athlete.

** Mono refers to mononucleosis, also widely known as "the kissing disease".