THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Sunday, March 04, 2007

3rd March, 2007, a date that shall be etched in my memory forever. Just like the other dates i've flagged: 4th July, 2006 and 16th April, 1981. And then there also is the 21st October, 2006, a 'grey' day in my life, which I hope will be a smile-worthy memory sometime along the future.

Today, I met the soul of my life, also fondly named, 'lifeline'. I realize one can get jittery when in touch with one's soul. I reason that this is because there are NO SECRETS, and no matter which mask I draw, my hideous face(s) cannot be camouflaged. Probably the only time a multi-visaged personality such as myself is at risk of being judged for the component elements that make me, ME. The verdict I believe will be feared yet awaited, surmised yet refuted and numbing yet settling.

I also realized that a conversationalist like me who revels in shock and ‘aww’ inspiring narrations or one-liners can be short-worded when there is no eye contact, for eyes are where I draw my cue from. Note that I have no delusions of grandeur and I will never be awe inspiring but I’ve been told that I can be sweet and cute and hence, ‘aww’ inspiring.

So, how do you tell yourself that the one thing you really really want to do- the act that you’ve played and replayed in your head time and again is now inappropriate at the opportune very first tete-a-tete with your soul? I suppose you get fidgety and curse the bad omens which can’t help being ominous. Just FYI, from my experience, that doesn’t help either.

A note to the soul of my life:

I’ve always been so very proud of you but today I have a new found respect way beyond the high esteem I already hold you in. I saw the scars you didn’t deserve and wished that they don’t bring back bitter memories. I ask to be allowed to make whatever little difference I can, in any capacity. In a very selfish way I wish that you be happy because my days can only be as good as yours. I hope that you reach the horizon and touch the sky and I promise to never sap your strength with bitterness or rancor.

7 comments:

Perspective Inc. said...

Interesting...

chérie said...

hmmm . . . Don't mean to pry, but what do the other dates you have listed signify?

Seashells said...

@ perspective inc.
Thank you. :)

@ cherie
Like fosix says, "If i tell you, i'll have to kill you." :-P

Isis Panthea said...

BTW, I should atleast have known about Oct '06 one...what was it ???

Anyways, congratulations on your 'dumd-stuck' moment... :) waiting to hear mooooooree..

Fosix said...

@cherie
i could tell you, but it'll cost you :P

@seashells
:D

anu said...

so its not spam anymore :P

Seashells said...

@ isis panthea
Well, the scoop when we talk next :)...

@ fosix
;-)

@ anu
hmmm...