THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Spy who ....... me !!!

Sweet Jesus, I am a celebrity... Okey, agreed that, that is far from true... But, i am inclined to believe that an anonymous soul, who is using Southwestern Bell Internet Services, residing (or atleast temporarily stationed) in Topeka, Kansas, and who uses a MS WIN XP operating system, googled my FULL NAME at about 6: 57 pm CST, on 28th of December, 2005.

Sope dude / dudette, whoever you are, i just wanted to say THANKS... for a moment there, the misconception-of-being-hep, just felt so very good... It definitely was my lil pleasure of the day.

Oh, and the self coined word for today is... COOLIE = COOL DUDE OR COOL DUDETTE... no gender bias there...

Monday, December 26, 2005

Seasons Greetings & Holiday Wishes

Holiday season again !!! This time of the year beckons festivities... Holiday cheer for all of you celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanza, Festivous and also to those who just plain and simple enjoy watching the ball drop every New year.

"Bearing Down" on all of you having a healthy and prosperous year ahead... Here's to wishing that you get everything you ever wanted and much more.

And, to the regulars on this blog-o-mine, special love to y'all. You
guys are God sent ( yeah like you believe that :-P ), and I appreciate your comments and inputs. Thank you, and do keep dropping by.

PEACE ( V )

Friday, December 09, 2005

Adversity

Adversity can break you, or make you break your own records !!!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

A thinker

I love, I hate, I hate to love, and I love to hate...

So, i'm in the mood for loving to hate... but then, i cant think of any new timers for this purpose... old timers being - Dick Vitale and Mike Krzyzewski (oh yes that's a name) ...

as i said, a thinker...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

brrrrrhhhhhhh

Sub-zero in freakin-friggin-freezin Tucson and the Arctic is not cold enough to store whale meat... dayumn !!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

ATOP

The toughest part of getting to the top of the ladder is,
getting through the crowd at the bottom.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Let the patriotic juices flow

Awesome rendition of the Indian national anthem.

CLICK HERE

Thanks to Arvind for sending this link to me.

P.S It's a huge file, might take a while to load.

Monday, November 14, 2005

I'M A LIAR

In my own words and so much more in deeds, time and again, and once again, and not for the last time, i've proclaimed that I habitually am an obsessive compulsive liar... I lie because it takes a creative genius to pull off a lie and a well said lie gives me extreme sense of gratification. I lie because my satanic soul is trying to make a statement, per se. I lie because I am ferociously competitive and I am constantly trying to better my achievements. I lie because it helps me be witty or atleast convince low lying liars that i am wit personified. I've lied to be a liaison between hostile lying liars. But i've had the most amount of fun lying to fellow liars who've done nothing else but lie, lay, tried to lay, or get laid, because when you lie in such low lying company of liars, no lies are lost, lying in the air, to be laid on a platter for lie-free brains not to understand that a lie is actually a lie and not, not a lie...

Last night, as i lay in my bed, i realised that there is one statement, a singular case, which is not a friend of the liars. I was deeply disheartened when it dawned on me that i could not lie about being a liar. I call this inability to lie "the liars handicap". English has not been fair to liars around the universe. For starters, there isn't an antonym to the word "liar"... why so may i ask ??? Can you think of one ??? lemme know if you come up with one... Second, when a true guy ( or girl for that matter who always speaks the truth, descendant of Harishchandra or not) can be true to his/her last word when he/she says that he/she only speaks the truth, in the presence or absence of Gita (Bhagawat or a girl for that matter), why can't a liar be lying about him/her being a liar... ????

Logic isn't a friend of the liars either... Proof by contrapositive actually only confirms that "I am a liar" is a true statement. Take a look,

Statement under question: Liar said,"I lie".

Starting with the contrapositive statement: True person said,"I speak the truth".

True person does not / can not lie, and in so speaking the truth, he/she can not say, "I lie".

and thus, anyone who says "I lie" or "I am a Liar" is a Liar... and so the scenario in which the liar said, "I Lie" is always a true scenario.

and so i say, LOGIC BE DAMNED.... and i care for as much as a smelly ass' arse as to what anybody has to say about it... anyway...

Last reports in say that the liars convention has decided to do something about "the liars handicap"... For starters, they've banned language and logic among liars... The consortium of international liars (CIL) vowed solidarity at the liars congregation. LIES WILL NOW MAKE NO SENSE AND WILL ONLY BE DONE IN SIGNS...

Note: All but nothing, meaning everything, reported, mentioned and exerted in this post is a Lie. Believe it or not, I don't lie !

yours truly (LOL) ,

Friday, November 11, 2005

Dancing in the dark

Didnt drag you in to the mire,
you were first to stoke the fire,
of what was only a spark,
we were just dancing in the dark...

I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain't nothing but tired
Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help
You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

White Dove

White dove
Fly with the wind
Take my hope under your wings
For the world to know
That i will not die
Even though it makes me cry

White dove
Fly with the wind
Take our hope under your wings
For the world to know
That hope will not die
Where the children cry

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Listen up

I'm not blind
to what goes on behind closed doors
It's not hard to find
the frothy surf on wild shores

It's not always
shady in a dark corner
the game a mind plays
so easily an evil churner

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Scars

You were a friend, a close one at that, a difficult one at that... you now are a scar, an irritable itch, a human glitch.

speech vainglorious,
manner ostentatious,
you feigned,
yet, you reigned.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My last shot @ 55 ...

Voices from inside a dark bedroom,

Husband: Is this good darling ?
Wife: faster please...
Husband: and now ?
Wife: faster darling
Husband: good enough ?
Wife: more
Husband: how about this ?
Wife: faster, faster
Husband: okey, and now ?
Wife: I am sweating... faster...
Husband: This is as fast as this darn fan gets !

Monday, October 24, 2005

Silence

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute......

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Humpty Dumpty revisited

Okey dokey.... While the last post cracked me up, it didn't seem to fit well with most of you folks' sense of humor... so, i decided to pay Humpty Dumpty another visit using the 55 word cap... cut to scene...

One beautiful evening,
Humpty approached Dumpty,
Humpty had his fingers in Dumpty's hair,
Dumpty did the same,
Humpty clutched Dumpty's shirt and pulled him close,
Dumpty did the same,
they locked eyes,
and stood still,
waiting for the moment,
the setting was right,
and then it happened,
I blew the whistle,
they began to wrestle.

LOL... this one has me in splits... Perfect 55 just like the last one.... does it titillate your sense of humor yet ???

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

55 words eh ??

My dear friend Voldemort has threatened to tag me in all possible ways if i didnt do this 55 word shhtoree thing... so, this piece of literary work tohtally by Voldemort's request... Actually dedicated to Voldemort... and witchardry...

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
they watched the birds fly,
they watched the kids play,
they got tired, so they got off the wall..
they flew dragonflys,
they chased butterflys...
tired, they got back on the wall...
they watched the sunset,
they watched the birds fly back...
Humpty Dumpty headed their way back home...


So, gud enuff eh ???

Sunday, October 16, 2005

End of Sabbatical

See you soon ....

Interval 1

I envy all actors and actresses... They never have to pretend to work... Pretence is their work !!! or rather... by pretending, they are working... and not pretending to be working... oh crap... u know what i mean... and, lessons on english grammar are not welcome...

my brain isn't functional... signal space is encroaching grey matter area while it's inhabitants relish the abundace of local delicacy, i.e., brain cells. My brain has been fogged by signal burp...

anyway... School of dramatics, I'll stop by sometime...

back to work now... with fog lights and blinkers on.... damn the dehumidifier doesn't work.... oh well ... the condenser does... neural traffic is back to normalcy... eh ... well ... ALMOST....

so long, until next time...

Friday, October 07, 2005

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

My shortest path (DOF) connection to the father of modern computer science

On wednesday, Sept 28th, 2005, I met Jim, mentor to my uncle, and a close friend of my uncle's family. It was my first meeting with him and i was very reluctant because i've never had anything in common with anyone 75+ years old... 60 minutes into the luncheon, i was thinking to myself that this is who i wanted to be 40 years from now... a living encyclopedia...

Gardening, astronomy and ham radio are his passions... I've always wanted to pay my tribute to Hertz and Marconi by joining a ham club but have never been able to do so... I've always wanted to put a telescope together, but Jim not only puts them together, he grinds his own mirror for the telescope... and so matter of factly says... i can't compete with the precision of modern technology but my mirrors work... !!! In the name of passion, I did courses in optical system design and thought to myself, someday perhaps I'll have the time and focus to make my own instruments... Jim didn't have that advantage... but he made it happen...

Jim was in the navy, and during the second world war is what i gather... He has a degree in chemical engineering, but chose to shift further study to chemistry... he's supposed to be a genius in identifying patterns for making drugs, and works one day a week... the rest of the time, he keeps himself busy with his 3 favorite hobbies and reads voraciously. I'm so glad i got to meet him because not many people can humble you with just their sheer depth of knowledge... He sure has become one of my icons.

Me: So, did u take a liking to the radio when you were in navy ?
Jim: It was vice versa actually... I chose navy coz i liked to play with the radio...

Jim: So, I hear you are an electrical engineer.
Me: That's right i am.
Jim: Do u work on computers ? Thats what the guys i know do.
Me: No, i work on Radars. (I beamed)

and then he started talking about a whole lot of stuff on radars which even i didnt know and he was telling me how they functioned and how they were mount during his time at the navy... It was my turn to clarify that i didnt work on Radars but actually worked on signals from radars... He didnt seem too impressed though that my radars were actually satellites in space...

Jim: Do u know Alan Turning ?
Me: Never heard of him.
Jim: He invented the enigma machine and the bombe...
Me: I've heard about them. Played a big role in WW2. Instrumental in destroying many German submarines.
Jim: Yup, that's right. I visited his place in London.

Later that evening, Jim sends me stuff to read on the bombe, the enigma machine and the story of Alan Mathison Turning... He searched the web and printed stuff which he thought would be relevant to my field of work!!!

Alan Mathison Turning was conceived in 1911 in Chatarpur, India. His parents wanted to bring him up in Britain, and so they moved. Mathison was a well known mathematician, logician and cryptographer. He is considered to be the father of modern computer science. The Turning test contributed towards the concept of artificial consciousness. He designed the bombe, an electromechanical machine which could find settings for the enigma machine. After the war, he worked at NPL, creating one of the first designs for a stored program computer, although it was never actually built. In 1952, Turning was convicted of acts of gross indecency because of his homosexuality. In 1954, he comitted suicide by eating an apple laced with cyanide.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

~!@#$%^&*()_+1

(click image for larger view)

Date : 30th September 2005
Tools: 0.7mm "clutch pencil", eraser, tissue
Time: no clock
Size: ~ 9" x 11"
Inspiration: haah...
okey dokey... Incomplete work, n i dont think i'll get down to doing it again... so here it is as it is... :-)... This dame is a real beauty... anybody recognize her ??? guesses ??? will answer only in "yes" or "no"... oh btw... she is the celebrity types :D...

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Words behind my art and photography

I never saw an ugly thing in my life:
for let the form of the object be what it may,
-light, shade and perspective will always make it beautiful.
-John Constable

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

~!@#$%^&*()_+

(click image for larger view)

Date : 27th September 2005
Tools: 0.7mm "clutch pencil", eraser
Time: ~ 60 mins
Size: A4 (Edges cropped)
Inspiration: Dream Girl

Monday, September 26, 2005

HINDsight - 10

Mountbatten was chosen to hand over the baton... err... I mean India back to the Indians. Nehru was chosen as the first Indian PM. He delivered the famous midnight speech on the eve of Independence, his most famous words being, "When the whole world sleeps, India will wake to life and freedom"... Half a century later, these words became the BPO mantra...

The Indian constitution took around three years to complete... The constitution guaranteed some fundamental rights to all citizes... for instance, the right to live is a fundamental right which allows a person to live as long as he is alive... freedom of speech empowers you to say whatever you like... yours words however are more or less guaranteed to fall on deaf ears...

Nehru was succeeded by Lal Bahadur Shastri... He directed the 1966 Indo-Pak war operations... He signed the Indo-Pak 'peace' agreement in Russia and died 'peacefully'... fortunately for him, he didnt have to die warfully... Indira Gandhi was next to take control... In 1971, she fought a war against Pakistan, and founded Bangladesh... In India, she declared Emergency and ruled with complete authority, sending all opposition to jail... Her unpopularity soared and was voted massively against in the next general elections...

Morarji Desai, from Junta Party was next, and more famous for reasons other than politics... and the reasons ???... well, let's say he recycled his own water... He had trouble handling his cabinet, so he resigned. After his resignation, Charan Singh was sworn in as the next Prime Minister... He was asked to face the parliament, and he responded by recommending general elections... Anybody thinking chicken ??? So, his term ended even before he could face the parliament... Meanwhile, the price of onions sky rocketed and Indira Gandhi blamed the JP rule... She promised to reduce the prices... Onions being the most important part of daily Indian food, people voted for Onions, and so Congress(I) won...

This time around, terrorism had spread in Punjab and many of the terrorists had taken refuge in the Golden Temple... The army tried to flush the terrorists on Indira Gandhi's command but the temple was damaged in the process... The Sikhs were outraged, vowed to avenge the sacrilege... One of Indira Gandhi's Sikh bodyguards killed her... His job was to guard her body and he said he would do so... he was however apprehended... so, he couldn't do his duty... Rajiv Gandhi rode a huge sympathy wave and was given a thumping majority in Parliament...

I will stop here for 3 reasons...

1. Most readers of this blog are familiar with the more recent 'backward history'...
2. This series has ceased to interest or inspire...
3. TEN is a good number to stop at...

END OF HINDsight... Look ahead now...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Quote for the day

You see things;
and you say,
Why ?

But I dream things that never were;
and I say,
Why not ?

-George Bernard Shaw

Friday, September 23, 2005

SSDD

I'm tearing my hair,
and trashing a day's work,
to add to my despair,
what i tried, doesn't work...

I've tried to my wit's end,
I'm sure you can tell,
but since u'r not willing to bend,
I'm not wasting another brain cell...

i'm not yet in a fit,
but this is what i have to say..
you might be the same $h!t,
but tomorrow'll be a different day...

Thursday, September 22, 2005

My First Anniversary

I just realised it's been one long year since Lilly happened to me... Well... i wasn't exactly keeping in touch w/ her but you know that night i spent with her... it was so special... i still think about it every now and then... on and off... I miss her... I want to share her story and so i dug out an 1 year old email of mine...

Slept w/ Lilly last night ! - 22nd Sept 2004

well well well... did i grab ur attention... ??? i know u r all interested... now c'mon dont deny it... okey okey fine... here are a few tit bits or what i call space-time snap shots of the great time i had with her..
hmm... so lets see where did all start eh ?? hmm... vamsi, mithun (roomies) and i were walking back home from my dept ... we were crossing an underpass when we saw a kallu fellow.. properly drunk .. he was with lilly or lilly was w/ him... or so we thought... first things i noticed were her beautiful thin legs and her big expressive eyes...Lilly first walked up to us as if to say something but kept quiet.. n then the kallu fellow offered us some beer... ... well normally i wud've grabbed this offer... but then i'm tryin to be a gud boy u see... so i said no to "ALCOHOL" n they walked off...
But then after a while we realised that lilly was following us ... n then she followed us all the way home ... she seemed so lost and in trouble... her eyes were moist and she looked at us as if we were the only ones in the world who could help her out.... I took pity and convinced my room mates to let her in... They were shit scared and wanted to call 911... i convinced them not to do it... c'mon she seemed so helpless... what cud she have done... she didnt even have proper clothes !!!!
phir kya !!! ... we ate... she had some bread n chicken with great delight i would say... n then we all played some games .. roommates thak ke so gaye... but i and lilly continued... and then one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together....
subah subah my room mates called 911 and the guys took her away... my dil tut tut ke weeping becoz of the judaai scene... but then her master called some time back and thanked us for taking good care of Lilly...
now even if it wasnt Lilly... itna tho farz banta hain na... cud've done that for any other Lilly for that matter... c'mon yaaar she was a beautiful beautiful boxer-pit bull cross...but the sad part is that she left me alone !!! ... BITCH....
PS: The story was sensationalized (just a bit though) to make for interesting reading... I'm sure none of you are complaining... !!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

HINDsight - 9

The Britishers were afraid of the dark... It's been said that the Sun never set on the British empire, for this very reason i suppose... As said earlier, the Indians were pampered under British rule... They now wanted their own rulers and did not want to share their rulers with other nations... The Britishers were not able to find an emperor and/or empress for India and were very disheartened... The Indians were stubborn rascals and they did not relent... When the Britishers realised that they were defending India from Indians, they decided it was time to go back home...

Actually, some reports say that India was already getting to be a populous nation, and the hill stations were getting crowded... The Britishers couldn't bear the heat amidst the plains and deserts and found India 'too hot to handle'... They were now cats on hot Indian tin roofs... Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, supposedly brought some South African fuel home to add to the Indian fire... Many Indians thought it was a diwali like celebration and joined Gandhi... The Britishers arrested all of them and accused them of forming a mob... While in jail, smart people like Nehru made good use of time to discover India... the rest were inspired... but couldn't do much about it....

The second world war broke out in 1939... The Indians fought for the British... In the middle of the War, Gandhi thought it was time to 'chance pe dance'... and so he issued an order to the British to "Quit India"... The British begged for time until after the war and requested Gandhi to honour the 90 year lease... The British kept their word and left in 1947... Meanwhile, Hindus and Muslims who had been living together like brothers, now started quarelling like real brothers... The result ofcourse was the partition of India... Please do take note of British generosity... They had conquered one country, and they returned two...

Monday, September 19, 2005

Bad Scribble

I remember the moment I first saw you...
my heart skipped a beat,
but I was still hangin around...

the first time we locked eyes,
my friends caught my smile,
they thought I was goofin around....

and then one fine day you waved...
I was so surprised...
I could hardly hold my ground...

well then I got to know you....
got to give it to you,
my pleasure knew no bound...

out of the blue, you found true love...
I was glad for you...
but I couldn't say a word, couldn't make a sound...

it's all right not to love me...
there ain't no dearth of beauty..
for me to run around....

you know i'm cute...
I'm teddy, The prince, ;-)
waiting to be crowned...

I'll wait on my turn...
I know it's gotta happen...
every beautiful soul is love bound...

Until then, I'll live by my music...
frenzied metal clang...
big n sweet surround....

Oh... when I feel like a hug...
I got soft pillows...
cost a couple of pounds...

and then I do get licked on my face...
thanks to the bitch...
my faithful hound...

I was fish out of water...
you fool, you can't ever kill me
by getting me drowned...

I'm back to where I was...
watchful eyes and hands on my head,
I'm safe n sound...

Saturday, September 17, 2005

HINDsight - 8

Invaders of southern India came by sea... Unlike the multicolored northern invaders, they were all white... First the Portugese, then the Dutch, and then followed by the English and the French... The Mughals were very accomodating and began to withdraw till their jurisdiction was limited from Red Fort to Palam...

The British came to India looking for sunshine and to buy spices to make their bland food taste better... They however liked it so much that they started trading co's from Surat, Masulipatnam, Mumbai and Chennapatnam... Gradually, they took over the rule and made Calcutta the new capital of India...

In those days, it was fashionable to add the title of 'Bahadur' after the names of kings and nobles... The British wanted to remain in vogue and hence named their company, The Company Bahadur... So, from 1757 to 1857, Company Bahadur ruled over India...

The British taught us English, started the post and telegraph system, started the railways, abolished child marriage and widow burning... The quality of life was begining to look better but some people got nostalgic and wanted a human ruler and monarchy to be restored... They therefore rose in rebellion in 1857 and persuaded the Mughal emperor to join the uprising... The rebellion was crushed but the British abolished company rule and Queen Victoria became the empress of India...

HINDsight - 7

Shivaji, son of a noble from Bijapur, was Aurangazeb's 'PITA'... He killed one of Aurangazeb's generals with a bear hug... talk about killing with love ... :-) ... another one of those things that originated in India... So.., Aurangazeb held Shivaji under house arrest... Shivaji used to send baskets of fruit and sweets everyday to a temple... one fine day, he hid himself and escaped... Centuries later, Bollywood was inspired by Shivaji's escape route and copied it in movies to show the likes of Amitabh Bachchan and Pran escape from prisons using the aid of garbage carriers or prison transportation systems... It shouldn't be forgotten though that Shivaji after escaping founded the Maratha Kingdom... Shivaji was an animal lover and a prospective PETA activist... He loved his horse and none of his statues are erected without the horse... The bad part though is that he lived only for 53 years...

The people in general were fed up with destruction, bloodshed and started questioning their existence... They turned to religion for answers to questions such as, Where shall i go after death ? , Is there any God ? , etc.. Religions try to answer some of these questions, but the result as more often than not, is more confusion... Anyway, this was the start of the Bhakti Movement... and also the origin to the 'Tamil Veda' and the 'Bhagvata Purana'...

Kabir, lived in the same time zone... He was a Hindu brought up by a Muslim family... When he died, there was dispute whether his body should be cremated or buried... When they took the sheets of his body, they found a handful of flowers... which were divided among the two communities and each of 'em disposed them off according to customs.... Nobody however sensed or suspected that some smart arse pulled off a smooth trick...

I was quite surprised by this piece of trivia... It is said that one of Kabir's disciples was Nanak, who became the first of the ten Gurus of Sikhs... So, a half Hindu and half Muslim scholar, inspires Sikhism eh ???

To end it all with a quote, Colton, an English clergyman and writer, said, "men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; anything but live for it".

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Cheer up









Do what you need,
for the time is yours, waiting to please !
:-)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

HINDsight - 6

Babur came to India, unaware that the throne of Delhi was waiting for him... He ofcourse had to face some formal opposition... His opponents fought bravely, and like all those people in history who fought bravely, they were defeated... Babur wanted to do something different, and so he died on his own... Actually, his son Humayun was seriously ill, but Babur for the fear of "losing his thunder" decided to die....

Humayun kept the tradition going... He died on his own... He took a tumble down the stairs before his heart refused to beat again... He however made his contribution to history... He produced Akbar... "Akbar the Great"....

Akbar established a new capital at Fatehpur Sikri, not too far from Delhi though... He held a formal cabinet nine ministers strong, 'navratan'... Birbal ofcourse was the minister for humour... Akbar married a Rajput princess called Jodhabai and tried to end all feuds betwen the followers of Islam and Hinduism... but that did not work...

Salim, handsome and slim, was Akbar's son... When he grew up, he rebelled against his father and thus started a new tradition which his successors followed... Salim fell in love with Anarkali, one of his beautiful but careless maids, and Akbar had her burried alive in a wall... thus sparking a rebellion... Salim, later changed his name to Jahangir... just for the heck of it... Jahangir fell in love again... He married Noor Jahan... She ruled on Jahangir's behalf...

Shah Jahan kept the tradition started by his father of trying to stage a rebellion... When Shah Jahan eventually took over, his passion for architecture showed... He built the Red Fort at Delhi, The Taj for his beloved queen Mumtaz Mahal and also designed the peacock throne... The same peacock later became India's national bird...

Studies on Mumtaz Mahal have indicated that the fourteenth chid is very dangerous for the mother's health... Shah Jahan's third son Aurangazeb however proved fatal for him... He killed his brothers and nephews, and imprisoned his father... Aurangazeb ruled for 50 long years... He died in Aurangabad... Since none of his sons were gallant enough to challenge him, he had to die by himself...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A peek inside the cranium

It's about time i took you on tour through the different chambers of my head, for you to see for yourself how convoluted my grey matter generator is, and in so doing, i reveal to the world the apparent reason for my neurosis... You are free to clear any clots and undo any knots if you please... The docs think they are a problem and so, you might just be doing me a favor...

I started this morning wondering why i never got to be a Chef... which btw was my second career choice... Then i decided i don't enjoy cooking, as much as i enjoy eating... but then, i'm not sure i enjoy what i am doing right now as well..., so why not be a Chef ??? and if i did exactly what i enjoyed doing the most, then i'd probably be a DRIVER... coz i love driving... I then took solace from the fact that i made a decent career choice and have BIG PLANS for the future... and my future still could be bright...

My first choice though was to be a pilot... I still want to be one... Spent an hour this morning looking for flying clubs... and GOD they are expensive... but in the name of passion... lets burn some green dope...

Oh btw... its been a recurring dream that i am playing the guitar 20000 ft above the ground, sitting in the cockpit, and steering the joystick with my feet... God bless all passengers but i'll do it some fine day... oh wait... i'll help make their flight comfortable... they get to hear me play the guitar... FOR FREE !!!

and then i took a look at my messenger and found atleast half a dozen people online, once very close friends, and now i try to hide from them all the time... I wonder why relations with friends change when they commit or get married... ??? I wasn't even remotely interested in them... Wonder why it is so difficult to re-define any relation ??? The longest lasting relations are the relations which don't change... they grow... but don't change... eh ??? lemme scratch my head a lil more ...

I miss a friend from my undergrad days... She was such a darling... my pseudo girl friend... I still have the note which says I am a donkey... signed but not dated by you... anyway... heard you might be getting married... WISHING YOU THE BEST OF WHAT LIFE HAS ON OFFER... I wish someday we can takeoff from where we left... or atleast let me know how and where i went wrong....

I miss my friend who i lost to cancer... I don't have the heart to take your id off my messenger list... and everytime i see your id, i talk to you... i hope you hear me...

and then i needed something to cheer me up... so i watched a fat white man dancing for charity... He tore his pants trying to do a split... It was hillarious... The crowd was going nuts and some were rolling on the floor laughing...

I took a look at myself in the mirror and for a very brief moment, thought about a shave... and then for my own convenience, decided to believe the the stubbled look is IN. I also predict that in a couple of days, the bearded look will be IN. I then thought of 'the devil' and 'the scarecrow' and their sweet lovestory... seen it grow, made it happen... and finally, i thought it was 'bout time i got my work going...

Monday, September 12, 2005

HINDsight - 5

Mehmood, a Turkish slave who later became the ruler of Ghazni was a persistent nuisance. He made seventeen attempts to capture India between 1000 and 1026 AD. Some historians believe that on his last trip, the Indians launched a biological warfare, Mehmood (Ghaznavi) died of malaria.

Muhammad Ghouri succeeded Ghaznavi, and then handed over the slave dynasty to one of his slaves by name Qutubuddin Aibak. Aibak wanted to promote tourism and was farsighted enough to erect one of Delhi's most visited tourist locations, The Qutub Minar. Quli Qutub Shah, the Sultan of Hyderabad, was so impressed by the tower that under the compulsion of a similar name, he wanted to do something similar, only better. So, he erected not one but four towers, called the Char Minar. It should be noted that the collective height of the four minarets together is greater than that of the Qutub Minar.

Razia, was the first empress of India. Feminists celebrated... Razia knew no Latin, and hence did not understand the meaning of 'noblesse oblige'. She favored a slave called Yaqut, the other (MCP) nobles did not like it, conspired against her, and got her killed by professional assassins... Feminists cried foul as usual...

Allauddin Khilji was the most popular of Khiljis, he killed his father-in-law to take over the throne... He expanded his empire and conquered a big chunk of India... He was known as 'Alexander The Second'... He though was very unpopular for having imposed prohibition. Tughlaq was next in line, he wanted to rule from the centre of the empire and so moved the capital from Delhi to Daulatabad (Devagiri). Eventually, he found out that it didn't work out and so he moved back to Delhi. That was the story of his rule in short...

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Stray pieces

Earth itself, suffers from two types of motion - rotation and revolution. No wonder the inhabitants of earth are mostly in a daze. Some people who get used to it and become immune to its effects take to alcohol to experience a greater daze.
- Narendra Luther

Ends justify means = Ends justify being mean
-?

'O, God, if there is one, save my soul, if there is one.'
-Voltaire

Matters of opinion is a respectable term for prejudice.
-?

Your life is like a mirror, if u face it smiling, it smiles right back at you.
-?

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

efiL etacileD A s'tI

With fresh morning dew drops, bathe it,
fetch the colors of the rainbow, paint it,
with wild flowers and petals, dress it,
with dreams, hope and aspiration, build it,
with memories accrued, sweeten it,

from harsh vicissitudes, shield it,
from jealous eyes, guard it,
about a sweet-smiled coax, warn it,
from the pain of loss, defend it,
from affects of burning desire, soothe it,

on a scorching hot day, chill with it,
on a freezing winter night, cuddle with it,
on a meandering course, accompany it,
during the dark times, befriend it,
it's a fragile life, protect it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
C'est une vie délicate

With fresh morning dew drops - bathe it,
fetch vivid colors from the rainbow - paint it,
with wild daisies and blossoms - dress it,
with dreams, hope and aspiration - build it,
with memories accrued - sweeten it,
with an occasional treat - coddle it,
with wishes galore - bolster it.

From harsh vicissitudes - shield it,
from begrudging eyes - guard it,
about a sweet-smiled coax - alert it,
from the pain of loss - defend it,
from affects of burning desire - hedge it.

On a scorching hot day - pamper it,
on a freezing winter night - embrace it,
on a meandering course - accompany it,
during dark times - befriend it,
it's a fragile life - nourish it,
it's a delicate life - protect it.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

HINDsight - 4

Ashoka, grandson of Chandragupta Maurya, was born in Hotel Maurya, Patna. He wasn't a hotelier though... He killed about 100 brothers and others who could challenge his accession, and then in a sudden twist of events, became a Buddhist. He was India's biggest exporter at that time. He exported Buddhists.

Oh ! btw, Gautama was born in 487 BC. He too was a prince and thus worth the mention. He discovered that undergoing acute austerities was the path to enlightment. He was what i call "buddhu" but people preferred to call him Buddha.

Vardhaman was about 20 years older than Buddha. Gautama : Buddha = Vardhaman : Mahavira. The transformation from Vardhaman to Mahavira inspired Jainism. Jainism in turn inspired and preached a lot of practices. Digambara, one of the Jain sects, advocates nudity. Apparently clothes give rise to pride of possession and the fear of being deprived of them. Modern day nudists needed no more excuses.

Friday, August 19, 2005

HINDsight - 3

Alexander (supposedly) the great, prince of Macedonia (Greece), pupil of Aristortle(~Plato~Socrates), was the first European tourist to visit India. He fought and defeated Poru to prove his might. Poru exchanged his daughter in return for his own life. Feminists cried foul and have continued since...

Later, Chandragupta Maurya defeated Seleucus, the greek governor of Punjab and married his daughter... This Indo-Greek crossbreeding is the secret behind Punjabi stock. Oh ! btw, the feminists were happy with the "tit for tat" move.

Fahein was the first chinese traveller and Huen-Tsang followed a lilttle later. The British did not like non-European competition and so McMohan drew a line and Chinese were forbidden from crossing it. Mao-ze-Dong didn't like that. Subsequently, there was a war at the Indo-Chinese border where the Indian army was pelted with crockery and checkers. Peace was restored much later.

Aha ! this comes from Mr. Nehru's journals. The creator after profound meditation, took the rotundity of the moon, the curves of the creepers, the clinging of tendrils, the trembling of grass, the slenderness of the reed, the bloom of the flowers, the lightness of leaves, the tapering of the elephant's trunk, the glances of deer, the clustering of rows of bees, the joyous gaiety of sunbeams, the weeping of clouds, the fickleness of the winds, the timidity of the hare, the vanity of the peacock, the softness of the parrot's bosom, the hardness of adamant, the sweetness of honey, the cruelty of the tiger, the warm glow of fire, the coldness of snow, the chattering of jays, the cooing of kokila, the hypocrisy of the crane, and the fidelity of the chakravaka. Compounding all these together, he made woman.

Mr. Nehru was kidding and yeah he liked kids... and oh!, if it happens to be true, no wonder i find woman hard to understand...

Forward...

I don't know if there is any truth to this forwarded email... but then... .what the heck !

Madhu Trehan writes regularly for Outlook magazine. One of her readers responded to her mail and she is replying to that letter. Both the letters are shown below. excellent reply , I would say . . .

Hi Madhu,

I have read your articles ever since I was a kid and you were at India Today. You have often come across as a balanced person not prone to Gandhi nonsense, until now. I live in a White Nation (the US) and have never felt like a second class citizen. Only a blind and a deaf person can compare thepride of a US citizen with the indignity of being an India. A US citizen trusts his government, knows his/her death will never go unpunished, while an Indian solider is there to die. Elite is a bad word in India because 95% of our country lives in abject poverty. Next time ask the waiter in Taj who served you the Rs 400 drink, how much he takes in a month. The Durban who opens the door for you, ask him how much he makes? I bet his monthly salary will be around your dinner bill.

Shame on you and journalists like you who have failed India in the past with colored reporting and are doing so now. They should feel ashamed. Rather than calling bush names, maybe we should hang our heads in shame on PM'slike Vajpayee who is too old to walk, too much of a coward to protect his people.

Maybe, just maybe, the day people like us (the English educated hence smarter) start feeling ashamed enough we will start making changes in India rather than just exploiting our servants and labour class. It anguishes me to read this national character articles. A nation that cannot feed its people (a la Orrisa) has no character, a nation whose children move around *** (Mumbai) has no reason to feel proud, a nation whose elected reps call religious riots "opposite reaction" has no future. Once again, shame on you and all of India. I am ashamed to be an Indian and shame on you for suggesting anything else.

Chet (Chaitanya)

*********************************************

Her response was:

Hello Chet,

I will answer your letter point by point.

Your name. You can be Chet or Jet, stay away from the sun, fake an American accent, but you will never be able to run away from Chaitanya. He will always be there even though you hate him today.
Gandhi, whom you hold in such contempt, despite all his controversial behavior, is largely responsible for the fact that there is no white boot on a part of your anatomy today.

You live in a white nation but you are not white and never will be. You can fool yourself to believe that you are not treated as a second class citizen.

You choose to forget the Dot Busters, the Sikh who was killed because he looked foreign and rampant racism. How many times a week do you have to explain where you are from and spend your time EXPLAINING India to Americans? I cringe to think what you say to them about India. We do not need spokesman such as you. You will never be able to share a good desi joke with any of your new friends. If you can't laugh together; you cannot understand each other. You will always be an alien.

Yes, we are economically poor compared to US but we do not have to suffer the highest rate of teenage pregnancies, kids coming into schools and killing students and teachers, the highest rate of suicide among college students, alienated parents and children, lonely old people dumped into old age homes, drugs being offered to eight year olds (as my daughter was when she was in the UN school in New York), serial marriages and divorces.

The US had a president who was senile and deaf (Reagan), one who turned out to be a serial *** offender (Clinton), and now you have one who didn't know the heads of state of major countries and ignored warnings of a terrorist attack months before it took place. The US is responsible for massacres in Vietnam, Cambodia, Iraq, Chile and the list goes on. The rest of the world does not view America with the rose-coloured glasses you have been brainwashed by the US media to see thorough.

And, how much does a waiter in Jean Georges restaurant in Trump International Hotel in New York make compared to the price of the drink he is serving? The labour class in exploited all over the world.

You seem to very upset that I am pointing out we have a national character to be ashamed of and we should do something about it. Your insistence that we stay ashamed and do nothing about it is perhaps to make it easier for you to live in a country where the only religion is to hang out at malls and accumulate consumer items you don't really need but have been dictated by advertising to buy that, to keep the US economy going. It is not by accident that Americans are flocking to yoga and meditation classes to buy happiness.

You have done well to leave a country you are ashamed of. Call yourself an American but sooner or later your disguise and American Halloween costume will frighten you enough to get rid of it. I love America's energy and have good friends there. New York is a centre for an enormous outpouring of creativity and imaginative thinking. Every country has its own problems.

It is for the people who belong there to take responsibility for change. If you are so far removed from India, ask yourself why you are so anguished with my article. Chaitanya is raising his head,Chet is in trouble.

Regards,
Madhu Trehan

Thursday, August 18, 2005

HINDsight - 2

The story of Taj Mahal tells us that Mumtaz Mahal died while giving birth to her fourteenth child when she was not yet forty. Had the Mughals encouraged contraceptive measures, India would have been atleast half a billion people lighter.

BC = backward counting. The period when someone could be born in the year 440 and die in the year 395. So, to turn things around, AD = Accurate dating, was introduced.

The oldest veda is 'Rig Veda'. This is where most well read politicians learn to rig elections.

England was a backward nation. Its long and prosperous association with India gave it a face lift. Its now only five-and-a-half hours behind India.

The Mahabharata, or particularly the Draupadi vastraharan episode taught Indian women the concept of insurance. Even today, Indian women wear 6 metres of saree when all they need is about 2 m. Thats about 200 % of insurance.

Ramayana teaches us that Rama was a good son, a good brother, a good husband and a good ruler. Resultantly everyone took advantage of him and so it's not always good to be good. Ravana had ten heads and each one thought independently. He was therefore a confused person. Thats why, its always "good " to listen to just one head, your head.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

HINDsight -1

If there is one good thing that came out of watching 'Mangal Pandey - The rising', it is, my desire to re-read Indian history. I discovered, not to my surprise, that different historians have different takes and different arguments. No wonder, Schelegel said, " The historian is a prophet looking backwards". waise... what fun is reading without sharing... I intend writing a series of synopsis quoting all that i like and my own point of view ofcourse... so here are the lessons for the day...

Stone Age : around the time when people threw stones at each other. There weren't any glass houses or windows for that matter and so there was no damage done to property...

Copper Age: The period when people use/used copper... so this age isn't over yet...

Iron Age : Begins when Tata Iron and Steel was established... Sardar Patel is their best product yet.

Dark Ages : spread from sunset to dawn every day... it was once a periodical event... electricity and Edison though disturbed the dark ages...

The old age : The time period just before the day of judgement, apocalypse, or Armageddon. So, thats right about now...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Bordering reality

Thoughts linger... senses go numb... dreams drift... all in a fleeting hypnotic moment... what follows the trance is utopian clarity, where all is conscientious, every move is righteous and life is factually surreal...

It could happen to you, it could do that to you, beware of it, for it can make a paper tiger out of you... in a submissive moment, you are subject to your own masochistic impulse and fall prey to your own brain trap... questions of morality arise... for strength without morality is barbarous; but morality without strength is impotent...

What is "it" ?

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Living in denial

If i recollect right, I was once told that the seven deadly sins are pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth. I also recollect having heard of specific punishments meted out to people in hell for having committed one or more of the afore mentioned sins. The punishments ofcourse sounded like a joke to me, for whom the concept of hell by itself is absurd, and in my opinion it only accounts to being a fearfactor for a big percentage of souls.

Living in denial, which isn't considered to be one of the seven deadly sins might as well be the one sin people ought to fear the most. It opens up the scope for a f*** up of sorts and is hardly ever followed up with a mea culpa kinda confession.

I have been living in denial for a couple of days now. I refuse to accept a few facts, disacknowledge favors, decline approachability, forbid other options and rule out even the remotest possibility of not deserving the one thing that i've craved for all my life. Mea cupla. Open the doors to hell. When life is a punishment, hell couldn't be much worse.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Mantra

Okey, i wanted to weave a lil bit of fiction around this anecdote but i have run out of patience and so i am going to narrate it just as it happened. Ash, Adi and I went to a restaurant (Mantra) at Somajiguda circle. It's a nice place with a good decor, modeled like a lounge though... The valet took over my Santro to do the parking duties and gave my front bumper a nice shave on an upward ramp, and that very moment i gulped in nine million eight hundred and fifty seven thousand six hundred and twenty eight cuss words, and lets say they whet my appetite.

( Sah = waiter and Aham = Me )

Sah : Would you like anything to drink Sir ?
Aham : Nah, not really.
Sah : Are you sure Sir ?

After consulting my friends ...

Aham : What kind of beer do you have ?
Sah : The regular Sir. RC, Kingfisher, Fosters, Haywards, etc...
Aham : Okey, get me a bottle of Haywards 10000.
Sah : Is that all Sir ?
Aham : Yup.

The guy vanishes as though he went to fetch something out of a secret vault, and then surfaces 15 mins later with two bottles of Haywards. On closer inspection, they turn out to be Haywards 5000 instead.

Aham : We'd ordered for only 1 bottle of 10000.
Sah : We don't have any 10000 Sir. I got you two bottles of 5000.

Must say, i was quite astonished with the level of stupidity. The chap went on to pour the contents of a bottle in a beer mug.

Aham : So, do you charge us for just the one bottle of 10000 ?

And, the dude very calmly walks off with one of the bottles of Haywards 5000.

Dinner was served later, which actually turned out to be pretty good... The vallet made no mistakes getting the car out for me but i left him a scornful look for tip...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Thank you Zeus

I haven't seen sunshine in 6 days time and boy am i glad... Just as i make this statement, I see scornful stares coming my way ... but like i give a f*** about what they have to say in this regard... They arn't the ones coming from the land of eternal sunshine and perennial heat... They arn't the ones running for shelter on a hot summer noon in Arizona... They haven't seen birds drop dead from the sky right before their eyes... They've never known what it feels like to be a kebab in the tandoor... they've never had to test a dozen sunscreen lotions to see which one suits their skin type and they've never had to dust salt of their body without feeling the perspiration....

I enjoyed open air showers for 4 continuous days... and the weather for the last 2 days has been the best weather Hyderabad has seen in the last decade or so... Its been cloudy and windy with the scent of freshness in the air... boy could i ask for more ??? well yes, if i had to be greedy, i'd wish that it remain like this atleast for the rest of my stay here... amen

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

bitter sweet symphony

An angel by my side
tried to reach for my heart
but i shrugged off her company
and dusted her hands off my shoulders

i lived in regret
for i realised what i'd lost
after my deepest moment of despair
i'd realised what i'd lost had no cost

the zephyr is an old friend
and we flew kites together
with the flocking birds came a message
after my briefing, they said dont bother....

I'd do anything for another joyride
for a treat or a tart
a bitter sweet symphony
in my life is all i got...

i've had my share of smiles
with tears to follow
stabs taken at my soul
from as far as sleepy hollow

the wind in my hair
rings bells in my head
message from Zephyr
were words well said
they spark my struggle
and soothe my wounds
etched in my head
will remain the words till i'm dead...

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Don't you know...

Don't you know what you mean to me ? do i have to tell you that yours is a special place in my heart ? must i repeat my prayers to let you know ? have i to say the words i've repeated over n over again ? may i remind you, that for me, the rest of the world wouldn't sum up to you ? and then if you still wish to disappear from the face of earth, give me the secret to your vaporizing action so i can pass first...

until later sweetheart,

keep the faith !

Friday, July 22, 2005

sucker...

you suck my blood one more time and i'll puncture your eyeballs, tear your limbs, squash your head to pulp, make chutney of your blood and feed it to ur kin, and launch a biological warfare on the family of culicidae...

-signed and delivered to vampiro the mosquito

Thursday, July 21, 2005

In anticipation

Well it's news today
my life is going to change
with eyes closed, I begin to pray
as tears of joy stream down my face

I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, take you by my side
and in awe, live a new life

-Inspired

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

so far ...

Delayed flights on arrival, double booked reservation on air india, had to fight a hoooooot girl for my seat, no place for on-board luggage, smell of gutkha before the Dubai flight took off, smiles-hugs and kisses to greet, blaring horns, sound of crazy hyderabad traffic, speed breakers for traffic moving at 20 kmph, U-turns on fly-overs, people walking the road in their magestic gait, house gets a makeover, new car, ma ke haath ka khana, those yummy dosas, puffs and samosas, whistles to greet tom cruise's entry in war of the worlds, living on spirits (*OH's), Club 8 - great pub great music, dad's mini bar with imported stuff, and the best of times with the best possible company around... LOT MORE TO COME

Monday, July 11, 2005

joie de vivre

When the ever so bubbling spirits in you take control and shoot warmth from those gleamy eyes as tears of joy roll past your dimpled cheeks and with extended arms you reach out to embrace a new life, a part of you, and when the young and old alike are clapping like little kids at a birthday party, I wish to be there, for you, for me, and just to be a part of a joyous moment of your life. Congratulations nana, I love you.

-Dedicated to my dearest sister who is soon going to bear hug motherhood.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Godspeed

It's taken a while to shake off the blues after an awesome week long vacation with one of my "bestest" buds in the whole wide world but the memories remain so fresh that i am so tempted to write about the great time i had. They say, the best way to rid temptation is to succumb to your desires, but, as is my obsessive-compulsive disorder to be different from the norm, i am not going to cave in.

Wonderful time, cherished memories, ups and downs apart, there was "a first" instance and it being worth the mention, i have to log it on my blog.

Cutting the crap out and getting down to brass tacks, i got my first speeding ticket after 3 years of zippy driving... It took a rolly-polly, cute-looking, mild mannered south carolina officer with a heavy southern accent to burst my baloon of thrills... Godspeed indeed... Ironically though, speed left that very instant and i've never met God... hmph...

Temper

From one among the zillion gazillion forwards, here is an excerpt...

GEMINI MAY 21 – June 29

You are recognized by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you are the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically. But when you lose cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by your seductive charm.

I don't concur... My so called "seductive charm" has never worked with woman... I don't remember the last time i yelled or screamed... However, i do try to say the last word in a wordy duel... and can be quite diplomatic when around warring factions... So, folks who're reading this and claim to know me, your analysis would be more than appreciated.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Quote for the day

"Fate it seems isn't without a sense of irony". What you do with your best intentions at heart can come back to bite you in your arse !

Suicidal Instincts

Before i scare the bejesus out of my near and dear, once and for all, lemme make it clear that this is not about me. Might have been one of the most erratic people ever with an unsatiable appetite for speed thrills, but i am a long way from going the kamikaze way... That apart, the eternal optimist in me will never say "die" and the opportunist that i am, will never have to say "die"....

The point i want to touch here is the change in psychological behavior behind suicidal instincts... Suicidal behavior was earlier explained as "psychological pain and mental illness causing irrational thoughts, which are treatable and temporary". Suicide is no longer an irrational decison. Suicide is no longer just for the "losers" who dont have it in them to face hardship, or for selfcentered people who think of nothing else but for the discontent SELF. Heartbreaks and random neural patterns are no longer solely responsible for suicides... Economists have openly claimed that economic theory has been able to explain the "phenomenon"...

It is as simple as valuing life in terms of the amount of happiness the rest of your life has in store, discount that amount by the cost of achieving that happiness and your share of expected sorrow and "if the net present joie de vivre is less than zero, suicide is a viable option". So, do you need more reason to thank the economists for having made suicide a viable option ??? Well..., they gave me more and so i'm just going to pass it on ...

Here is more apriori data for rational thinking... Roughly, only 1 in 20 suicides are successful... and about 2.9 % of U.S population has attempted suicide... Researchers add that people attempting suicide do not choose between life and death... They choose between 3 options...

1. death
2. The life of blues
3. Significantly improved life having survived unscathed.

Suicides happen because of depression and loneliness. All the sudden attention, and publicity in terms of media and tabloid often counter the suicidal instincts of one time attempters. The possibility of options 1 and 3 in terms of percentages out hustle option 2 making suicide a rational decision.

A study found that after people attempt suicide and fail, their incomes increase by an average of 20.6 percent compared to peers who seriously contemplate suicide but never make an attempt. In fact, the more serious the attempt, the larger the boost—"hard-suicide" attempts, in which luck is the only reason the attempts fail, are associated with a 36.3 percent increase in income. Explain that ???

The best example my search revealed was that of Kirk Jones, the guy who jumped the Niagara... He happened to enjoy the thrill of dropping 180 vertical feet without any safety gear, in the company of gushing water flowing at 150,000 gallons per second !!! Jones' parents pinpointed his being jobless as the reason, while a suicide expert pointed out the appeal of dramatic farewell... But then Jones had confided in a friend saying, "If I go over and I live, I am going to make some money," and then it was time to call in the economists. I wonder how much dope he made out of it !!! Here is the link on his story.

Kirk Jones

I get the impression that people who failed with their suicidal attempts realise it takes more guts to end a life than to live on... So just LIVE ON !!!

Any comments ???

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Just to say...

I luv you.

People walk in and walk out of my life like i am a theme park. A certain few enjoy the experience but leave me behind, and if i happen to be fortunate enough, i reserve a place in their memories. More than a couple vowed never to cross my path again. Few others want to re-live the moments but are compelled to do otherwise... But, my very best of friends are those chosen souls who enjoy the ride, appreciate the thrill, spread the joy with their infectious cackle, and have never had "enough of me".


Few and far in between, friends like you are a priced possession, i can never let go off... Mighty few have ever tried to unravel the mystiqe and hardly anyone has ever shared the bond we share. However, I cant but be a bum. It ain't even my second nature, its my principle nature and the only way i know to live. To pick a fight and spoil your moments is all i know for now ... and i'm looking forward to a lot more of it :)

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

sagacity sans sanity .... (cont.)

Seems like the very first post wins the readers choice award... at least thats the way it seems from all the reviews pouring in !!! a long way from being a monograph i understand but then the increasing attention and discussion obligates me to rename the post sanity-insanity 101 :). In the same breath, this post happens to be sanity-insanity 201 :).

Equilibrium could refer to mental or emotional poise (sanity) and thus disequilibrium encompasses everything otherwise. Looking at a broader picture however, equilibrium is a state of balanced influences (counter or otherwise). Assuming that the world is in a state of equilibrium (valid assumption i think) w/ respect to the forces defined previously, I will now make a metaphoric projection of my 3 defined influences, namely sanity, insantiy and cuspy (LOL) onto the better understood vector spaces.

Starting with 3D space, every pt obviously has 3 coordinates (s,i,c). A vector (0,0,0) -> (s,0,0) is a sane vector, a vector (0,0,0) -> (0,i,0) is an insane vecotor, and a vector (0,0,0) -> (0,0,c) is a cuspy vector. Typically, this space will consist of as many vectors as the population in the world, and vectors classified according to the definitions. Generalizing, assuming any arbit shift or rotation of the axes, a plain containing all the cuspy vectors will always be orthogonal to the plane containing all other vectors... Since orthogonal forces on non-rotational systems have no effect, we now take a look at the eigen space projection, rejecting the cuspy vectors.

Continuing with the eigen analysis, i expect to see the eigen values of the cuspy eigen vectors to be insignificant as compared to the eigen values corresponding to the sane eigen vectors and the insane eigen vectors. Ignoring the vectors with lower eigen values, projecting the rest on to eigen space, i expect to see diagonally opposite lobes cancel each other.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Basic Math

Dr. Michael Marcellin, one of the masterminds behind JPEG 2000, the prof who impressed me most during my masters degree once said in class that

0.99999... = 1

is an exact equality and not an approximation. I blinked, and here is the proof he presented,

0.33333.... = 1/3
=> 0.99999... = 1

My stupefied gaze ended in a second blink !!! Definitely a humbling experience... Couldn't have felt any more stupid than i was feeling at that point of time. Taught me to look out for subtle distinctions !!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

he (switch) she - l

Okey ....... this chunk of crap has been inspired by all the languages in the world which don't differentiate between gender... perhaps, setting an example for a good social norm, u think ??? my foot !! c'mon, u got to know the diff between him/her and he/she etc... just my opinion !! and what is my opinion worth ?? well, "my opinion and a dollar could get u coffee at the corner store".

Here is a true instance... I happen to call my friend at this research lab, and his colleague answers the call,

Me: Could i speak to _____ please ?
Chap : SHE is not there.
Me: err... I am calling for ______ .
Chap: Yes, _____. SHE left.

I mean no offense to my friends from C****, nor am i making any derogatory remarks... Every language has its own share of idiosyncrasy. For instance, my own national language, Hindi, has a contrasting peculiarity... Why in the name of God, am i supposed to categorize bicycles, buses, cars, bullock-carts etc... as male or female forms ??? Even worse, how am i supposed to remember that a bus is a female form and a truck is a male form... Agreed, that Indian roads can give them the orgasmic shivers but then it's not like they will ever reproduce... aah thats a nice thought... imagine going to a motor breeding farm instead of a ford dealer to buy a mustang !!! hmm... Motor ranches eh !!!

To be cont...

Monday, June 13, 2005

sagacity sans sanity = insanity

A wise mans crack : "sane and insane can easily switch places with shifting majority"... Assuming a cataclysmic switch of percentages, or a mere case of improper census logging, theoretically, the sane are now insane and vice-versa.

In an effort to be in sync with the existing nomenclature, and not disturbing the sleep of etymologists around the world, i continue to refer to the sane as sane and insane as insane respectively, despite the assumed catastrophe...

Now, spare a thought for those on the cusp ! The ones, who aren't welcome among the sane and who do not identify with the insane... folks fighting insanity only to buy a ticket to (hopefully) everlasting sanity !!! what'd they do... afterall being sane (as in insane after the "switch") will be the thing to do ... Well from what i foresee, the new identity crisis will sooner or later take toll, and drive these guys insane, as in sane in the new world... So, why don't they just declare insanity (as if it were as easy as declaring bankruptcy), force a shift in majority and make the simpler transition :) ???...But then, the insane wouldnt know how to take advantage and if these other guys could think straight, wouldnt they be sane ???? hmmm ......

More when sanity prevails... Hey, i'm thinking u see...