THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A peek inside the cranium

It's about time i took you on tour through the different chambers of my head, for you to see for yourself how convoluted my grey matter generator is, and in so doing, i reveal to the world the apparent reason for my neurosis... You are free to clear any clots and undo any knots if you please... The docs think they are a problem and so, you might just be doing me a favor...

I started this morning wondering why i never got to be a Chef... which btw was my second career choice... Then i decided i don't enjoy cooking, as much as i enjoy eating... but then, i'm not sure i enjoy what i am doing right now as well..., so why not be a Chef ??? and if i did exactly what i enjoyed doing the most, then i'd probably be a DRIVER... coz i love driving... I then took solace from the fact that i made a decent career choice and have BIG PLANS for the future... and my future still could be bright...

My first choice though was to be a pilot... I still want to be one... Spent an hour this morning looking for flying clubs... and GOD they are expensive... but in the name of passion... lets burn some green dope...

Oh btw... its been a recurring dream that i am playing the guitar 20000 ft above the ground, sitting in the cockpit, and steering the joystick with my feet... God bless all passengers but i'll do it some fine day... oh wait... i'll help make their flight comfortable... they get to hear me play the guitar... FOR FREE !!!

and then i took a look at my messenger and found atleast half a dozen people online, once very close friends, and now i try to hide from them all the time... I wonder why relations with friends change when they commit or get married... ??? I wasn't even remotely interested in them... Wonder why it is so difficult to re-define any relation ??? The longest lasting relations are the relations which don't change... they grow... but don't change... eh ??? lemme scratch my head a lil more ...

I miss a friend from my undergrad days... She was such a darling... my pseudo girl friend... I still have the note which says I am a donkey... signed but not dated by you... anyway... heard you might be getting married... WISHING YOU THE BEST OF WHAT LIFE HAS ON OFFER... I wish someday we can takeoff from where we left... or atleast let me know how and where i went wrong....

I miss my friend who i lost to cancer... I don't have the heart to take your id off my messenger list... and everytime i see your id, i talk to you... i hope you hear me...

and then i needed something to cheer me up... so i watched a fat white man dancing for charity... He tore his pants trying to do a split... It was hillarious... The crowd was going nuts and some were rolling on the floor laughing...

I took a look at myself in the mirror and for a very brief moment, thought about a shave... and then for my own convenience, decided to believe the the stubbled look is IN. I also predict that in a couple of days, the bearded look will be IN. I then thought of 'the devil' and 'the scarecrow' and their sweet lovestory... seen it grow, made it happen... and finally, i thought it was 'bout time i got my work going...

7 comments:

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Priya said...

This piece somehow reminds me of Raj Kapoor's "Mera naam joker", dont know why! All I can say is,'hum hain wahi, hum the jahan' cheer up :)

Z said...

Nice post!! Is this undergrad friend the one whom I think I know.

Seashells said...

@ Priya

Mera naam Shashank... and cheers all around :)...

@ venus
Geeze... nothing has evoked more interest... and answering your question... possibly... :-)...

chukku said...

insightful... but more than that how have u been doin. i must say u write very well

Seashells said...

@ Chukku

welcome back... me fine... i'm hanging in there... hope is like floating straw to a drowning person...

Thanks for the accolades... I'll try to keep the good work going... :-)