THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Monday, November 14, 2005

I'M A LIAR

In my own words and so much more in deeds, time and again, and once again, and not for the last time, i've proclaimed that I habitually am an obsessive compulsive liar... I lie because it takes a creative genius to pull off a lie and a well said lie gives me extreme sense of gratification. I lie because my satanic soul is trying to make a statement, per se. I lie because I am ferociously competitive and I am constantly trying to better my achievements. I lie because it helps me be witty or atleast convince low lying liars that i am wit personified. I've lied to be a liaison between hostile lying liars. But i've had the most amount of fun lying to fellow liars who've done nothing else but lie, lay, tried to lay, or get laid, because when you lie in such low lying company of liars, no lies are lost, lying in the air, to be laid on a platter for lie-free brains not to understand that a lie is actually a lie and not, not a lie...

Last night, as i lay in my bed, i realised that there is one statement, a singular case, which is not a friend of the liars. I was deeply disheartened when it dawned on me that i could not lie about being a liar. I call this inability to lie "the liars handicap". English has not been fair to liars around the universe. For starters, there isn't an antonym to the word "liar"... why so may i ask ??? Can you think of one ??? lemme know if you come up with one... Second, when a true guy ( or girl for that matter who always speaks the truth, descendant of Harishchandra or not) can be true to his/her last word when he/she says that he/she only speaks the truth, in the presence or absence of Gita (Bhagawat or a girl for that matter), why can't a liar be lying about him/her being a liar... ????

Logic isn't a friend of the liars either... Proof by contrapositive actually only confirms that "I am a liar" is a true statement. Take a look,

Statement under question: Liar said,"I lie".

Starting with the contrapositive statement: True person said,"I speak the truth".

True person does not / can not lie, and in so speaking the truth, he/she can not say, "I lie".

and thus, anyone who says "I lie" or "I am a Liar" is a Liar... and so the scenario in which the liar said, "I Lie" is always a true scenario.

and so i say, LOGIC BE DAMNED.... and i care for as much as a smelly ass' arse as to what anybody has to say about it... anyway...

Last reports in say that the liars convention has decided to do something about "the liars handicap"... For starters, they've banned language and logic among liars... The consortium of international liars (CIL) vowed solidarity at the liars congregation. LIES WILL NOW MAKE NO SENSE AND WILL ONLY BE DONE IN SIGNS...

Note: All but nothing, meaning everything, reported, mentioned and exerted in this post is a Lie. Believe it or not, I don't lie !

yours truly (LOL) ,

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

u lost me at "starting with the contrapositive statement"..please explain

Truth Fairy said...

Lol! I lost track somewhere in the middle of your damn post! I read it 3 times. I'm supposed to be working!!!!!! But whatever it is that you wrote, just wanted to let you know that I'm a pathological liar too! And I'm darn good at it! :D

Amaranthine said...

Lol!
Loved the post! Being a fellow liar, I totally understand your plight! Lying is an art, and truth is a bully we all pretend to like!

And I read your post after I sent you the email! So no emulation here! The break part, my own, patented composition!

Seashells said...

@ anonymous

proof by contrapositive is a method of logic... "A proposition derived by negating and permuting the terms of another, equivalent proposition;"

more like : all oranges are orange in color. An apple is red in color. red is not orange. Hence, an apple is not an orange...

@ truth fairy

It's not that difficult to understand... try reading when you are not working :-)... I tried to address the inability of liars lying about being liars... irony...

and yeah before i forget, we now have more than one thing in common pal... yay yay yippe yippee :D

@ amaranthine

truth, as in harsh reality has never been my friend... the only piece of truth not so harsh is that "I'M A LIAR"... oh wait... i said i don't lie...

i'm glad atleast one person claims to have understood the post... actually ... doesn't claim otherwise...

idiot's stupid said...

not bad..... i wont claim that i understood all that u were trying to convey nor would i say that i dint understand anything.....

me a liar too at that.... but am not able to lie at my whim and fancy... it takes some effort and time to be able to pull off a good lie :D

just wanted to say keep writing :)

Seashells said...

@ idiot's stupid

I'd say you didn't understand much of it... c'mon u r stupid after all :D...

I shall keep writing as long as people such as yourself keep appreciating this crap... whether or not that is a lie, only time will tell .... LOL

Fosix said...

i feel ya brother... i am in the same club... a pathological liar...
i once pretended to be muslim in order to escape from meeting my "politically correct" project partners on weekdays... i told them i had to do "namaaz" every evening and so i could only meet them on weekends... :))
keep it up bro !! liars of the world unite !!

Seashells said...

@ fosix

LOL !!! You pulled a fast one on the "politically correct"...

And, finally !!! I have a dude visitor on my blog.... A friend of mine asked me why all KNOWN readers were females... and i had no clue...

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