THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Hate Me

A gush of sudden emotion
has flash floods in my head,
a prairie of Capgras delusions
and memories' sanctuary dead...
but every one of your words echoes
as dreams die a screaming death,
but i refuse to share my woes
even as i cry tears of blood...

and all i can ever think is...
if you hate me today... ???
will you hate me tomorrow... ???
is it the only way to see what's good for you ???

All you wanted is a li'l peace
and a kiss that could hardly tell,
It is I who wanted more space
and with beaming pride i swelled...
but you did put it up in my face
when you cast love's last spell
its now an open-n-shut case
and yes, i've been felled...

and all i can ever think is...
if you hate me today... ???
will you hate me tomorrow... ???
is it the only way to see what's good for you ???

Now i burn in compunction
and you remain chary of my word,
i dont ask for compassion,
i thank your suicidal hate...
i'm waging battles with self
'n i shall never return...
for one last time i thank your help
and that smile lingers around every turn...

And all i ask for you is to...

"Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you...

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you..."

17 comments:

Isis Panthea said...

HUhh??!!!

Isis Panthea said...

but every one of your words echoes
as dreams die a screaming death..

I like that!

And your tag done!

fallenangel said...

but every one of your words echoes
as dreams die a screaming death,
but i refuse to share my woes


it sounds nice...

M (tread softly upon) said...

Gosh! Hate is such a strong word. I barely ever use it. But this one again lingers on the edge of the forgive and forget theme, right? Wonderfully strung together. But I'm wishing that the hate dissolves into something mellow and beautiful and what is good for both.

Truth Fairy said...

Hate? I agree with M that it's a strong word and a stronger emotion. But then, if you really love a person and they've wronged you, you think all your love can turn into hatred?

Very well written.

Seashells said...

@ isis panthea
so you did find something you like :P ... Don't forward this one... and if you do, only the first 8 lines please...

@ fallenangel
told ya, i love the first 8 lines... they're the lines i'm proud to have written...hehehe... the rest is just filling and gravy... hehehehe...

@ m(tsu)
Thanks. I'm always looking forward to see what you have to say... :)... The connotations of the word 'hate' are only as severe as you perceive them to be. Ofcourse how you say it does make THE big difference; I could say i hate you and still mean i love you.
The theme isn't exactly forgive-n-forget kind... My experience says that playing the blame game makes it easy to forget (or get over something/someone) and EVENTUALLY forgive, 'coz by then the whole issue loses importance...

PS: Why've you been deleting posts from your blog ???

@ truth fairy
Thank you for the appreciation. I'm not sure if i have the right answer to your question, but my guess is... YES...

Isis Panthea said...

i'm waging battles with self
'n i shall never return...

I like this too

Pallavi said...

first time here.. liked reading your stuff

M (tread softly upon) said...

"Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you..." THAT is not hate. THAT is love. And THAT is beautiful. What is love? It is not a hit at first sight sort of thing. It is something that one realizes one fine day. An all consuming, overwhelming emotion. I think love is simply realization. And hate is probaly the flipside of the coin. We just need to flip it over to reveal love.
The posts were deleted for a purpose. But they may be put back on soon. I have some trolls haunting my blog who know me personally and I'm trying to throw them off. I would hate to have to move my blog elsewhere. But don't worry I have everything saved and I'll put them back on at some point.

cyser said...

It's funny how thin the line between love and hate is. (They're certainly not opposites.) I've never "hated" anyone except those whom I've "loved." But maybe I'm just being petty and bitter. :-)

However, it does raise a frightening specter in a new relationship: not only "Can I love this person?" but "Can I hate this person?"

anu said...

i liked wat u wrote

Seashells said...

@ isis panthea
Thank you, but how many times do u read the same post ? :P

@ pallavi
Thanks. I used to frequent your blog earlier before my laptop conked off and i lost all bookmarks.

@ m(tsu)
I'm with cyser on this one. I think it's hard to "hate" without having "loved" first. I've seen love morph into hate and obsessive hatred morph into love on one certain instance, both of which though have never happened to me.
I'd hate to see your blog move as well. Imagine how many blogrolls will have to be edited... :D

@ cyser
Wise words well spoken. I'm with you on this one. Appreciate your comment.

@ anu
Thanks and good to have you back :)

Neha said...

thts some poem.. strong emotions...i liked it..

ur tag's still not done :(

Fosix said...

i see that second wind has been demoted in your blog-trot list... :D
maybe i should remove the "the" in "the chronicles of fosix"... that way i'll get an automatic promotion... what say ? :D

Seashells said...

@ neha
Thank you. I'm counting on you to do the tag. Take ur time if you've been busy. :)

@ fosix
don't be too sure. My blog-trot list works in mysterious ways unfathomable to your ilk. :P

second_wind said...

oh my....hate and a lot of it. They say thats a thin line b/w love and hate

Seashells said...

@ second wind
whether that is love or hate is open to debate... :)