THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

and then it dawned on me...

Good news does not bear any joy. It's a strange paradox that seems like burning truth in a sorry sate of affairs. I've worked, planned, toiled and sweat like never before and somehow i'm not really happy with what i got out of it. Things came much easier, when i was less stressed, less organized and less bothered. The paradigm shift has cost me dear and i wonder if maybe, just maybe, i would've been better off in my older shell. I wonder if i'm having to pay for the shift in psycho-balance. Why does an accomplishment have to remind you of what you've been through ? Why does it have to force-feed a feeling of underachievement and incompleteness ? Why does it have to ask if there is anyone else jumping with joy ( Is there ? ) ? It's said that all good things come at a price; but this one time, for the price i've paid, i feel cheated. I cheated Me. Me cheated I.

14 comments:

Isis Panthea said...

Me jumping with joy!
Pong pong pong pong...
still jumping!
You did it buddy!
All things come at a price.
You are at too early a stage to say if you paid too much! And the part about cheating, you better get used to it! ;)

pong pong pong pong...jumping :D

Neha said...

there is something going on here whihc i cannot figure out! :)
wats happening!

Z said...

Good news does not bear any jo

It's a compromise between you and your conscience. And you are the best judge. And for the paradigm shifts and psycho balances, there may not be a balance anytime. Hop on and enjoythe ride. Good luck!

Seashells said...

@ isis panthea
Trampoline jumps do not count. :P

@ neha
That happens to be the title page of my copyrighted work.

@ venus
My conscience, my ethics and my decisions make me the man i am. So, why should there be any compromise ? I judged to the best of my abilities but this isn't nearly what i was bargaining/hoping for.

As for the balance, i agree that there is no steady state. Even Heizenberg's principles dont help :)... I guess i'll just hee-haw on a roller coaster :)

Fosix said...

congrats dude !! thats a big hurdle you just jumped over... its time to move on to the next phase of life where lotsa-time-no-money gets replaced by enough-money-no-time... and good luck (for you-know-what) !!

second_wind said...

congratulations....

Seashells said...

@ fosix
Thank you. I know what you mean, but, the bloom is definitely off the rose.

@ second_wind
Thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

I am really happy for u.... with u n i think u kno that too.

givin u something that actually u owe me

>:D<

Fosix said...

i see that you took down the picture...
in case you were worried about people tracking you down, well, its too late... i already know your name, where you live and where you are moving too.... muhuhuhahahaha... muhuhuhahaha... ;) :P

Seashells said...

@ anon
I know. :). I shall settle all remaining debts when we meet. :P

@ fosix
Yup, i realised that just blurring my name wasn't enough to keep me anonymous. I received a couple of surprising emails...

All you know is my name. The rest of your claims are false :P.

Fosix said...

S.O.B !! you demoted me down your list !! i see the hand of my evil arch-nemesis 'SW' in this... the forthcoming retributions shall be swift and merciless... :D

Seashells said...

hahaha... i told you, the whole list is in random order... I added one link to the list and down you went. Btw, who the hell is SW ???

second_wind said...

Ha ha ...fosix...you are even below me now :))

Fosix said...

@second_wind
read the last line of my previous comment... :)