Of funky T's

When i'm in a funk, my t-shirts get funky... No kidding. It works. I get the attention, I get the compliments, and they just are a sure shot anti-depressant. Earlier, I wondered if anybody ever noticed or read what was written or printed on t-shirts... Apparently, they do. Where, you ask ??? Well, sidewalks, hallways, restaurant queues, elevators and temples... That sums up about 95% of all the giggles and stares i've garnered... So, here are my fab-five picks:

1.

I don't suffer from insanity,
I enjoy every minute of it.
This T is a favorite with the foodies... It's gotten me free soda, free Tacos and a free sandwich till date.

2.
A clear conscience
is usually a sign of
a bad memory.
Aunt N's favorite... She'z read it a 100 times, and winked a 100 times... A must pack item when i go to Philly.

3.
EVIL
never looked this good.
I wore it to Birla mandir once... If people could kill with stares, I would be writing this from my grave.

4.
Cartoonish pic of a sperm in shape of a spin vector (Nike's tick).
JUST DID IT
IN SWITZERLAND
It's a classic. The first among it's ilk... A favorite with elevator riders...

5.
Gravity is a myth.
Earth sucks !!!
I think students at BITS came up with this for Oasis, 2002. I don't have this one. It tops my wish list. Wonder where i can get one...

The mood is just right for another one of these...

Coool stuff !!!

Paraphrasing the desi guy's "technical jargon" in the Cisco commerical, "The security is in the doohickey next to the blinky thing. Security is everywhere, where the blinky thing is, Sir". That commercial is pretty punny :-)... but i think they could have done without trying to show off a stereotypical desi geek... Anywhoooo, this is how i would describe my work if i was that fella in the commercial...Security lies in the ability of the doohickies (flying in orbital space,) towards generating snazzy images (pic 2) using the jazzy images (pic 3) and eliminating the blinky things in the first peppered map...

On a side note, it's said that life is colorful... Spin it as you wish, but thousands of these images have kept me professionally (or academically) entertained for over two years now... But now, it's time to move on... Not sadly so, but gladly so...

Befuddled

I don't sleep too well... I was just talking to mom and she says i shouldn't be living here... She thinks i sleep/slept much better when i am/was in India. Probably true. Responsibility and accountability are just too much pressure, especially when NOTHING works according to plan. I mean, seriously, there is a dark age, and then life beyond it..., but my Alaskan winter seems to go on for ever... chilling bones to a point where life ceases to exist...

So, have i just used up my good fortune, or is there something about me that just makes lady luck go, "maybe later, later meaning never" *giggly hoo*... ???? I freakin' deserve a break... and like right now... I'm not asking for a bumper prize, a bonanza or even the key to Alibaba's lost treasure... all i want is the freakin map to this no-way-out labyrinth i am stuck in, so i can attack the weakest wall, and hopefully poke a hole to see daylight again...

These past few days have taught me the importance of home base... I need another one of my dad's pep talks... an affirmation that somebody's got my back covered and that i still am worth some damn thing... I'm a rolling ball of schmaltz right now... With every passing tik of the clock, i sink that much deeper in the gulf of nostalgia...

Diner Yack - 3

Conversations at restaurants and eat-out places can be strange, weird, wicked, humorous, sarcastic, out of place and possibly all of the afore mentioned at the same time... Hmm... and this piece here could be none of the above... :D ... I'll follow this post up with a couple more (when time permits) and they for sure will be more than a case in point for the statement i already made....

So, there is this small Indian kebab place in Tucson on Univ. Blvd., apparently quite popular among the American folk... I loved the Haryali Kebab there... and have been coerced into being one of the regulars there... but like always, too much of a good thing is never too good... so a few days back, i walked in and almost walked out without getting a thing but then changed my mind and got some rice with chicken tikka masala... So, there i am, digging into my lunch, being a good glutton and all... and this girl (tailed by a dude, a possible date) walks over, dips her finger nail in my gravy (well almost), looks me in the eye and says why didn't you ask me to get that ??? I had to counter her, and i had two options in mind, I either go with,

• I wouldn't get to taste that glitter on your nails then, would I ???..
• Or, say that i would do so on OUR date.
  

While i sat there contemplating as to which would be a smarter retort, she asks me what it was... and i shoot a blunt "#8 on the menu"... The couple settle in the booth next to mine and turn their attention to the LCD TV which was playing songs from HUM TUM...

Guy : That dancing dude looks like this crooked nosed actor...

Gal: Who ?

Me thinks : Huh !!!

Guy : That chap, he'zz u know done a few with Ben Stiller...

Gal: err ???

Me thinks: Vince Vaughan... but no, can't be... who else ???

Guy: "I like can't like remember the name... he like did that army like flick... where the force is like trying to get him back and stuff like that you know..."

Gal: Is it like a new one ?

Me thinks: "Like" like beats the $hit out of like any other word like f***, when like counting like the number of times like they use like that word that they like... Oh, and Saving private ryan... ?????? Matt Damon, nay, can't be...

and this that, yuppety-yup and yackety-yack follows, and then,

Guy: OWEN WILSON !!!

Gal: OH YEAH !!!

Me thinks: so, starsky and hutch, and behind enemy lines, and the crooked nose, all fine ... But, Saif and Owen Wilson, NO EFFIN WAY !!!!!!!!!!!

what do u guys dig ???

I miss y'all

I haven't seen y'all for a long time now... but lose faith, you may not... I assure you i'll be back... I shall then entertain all with my quirky monologues and together we shall 'brew' folklorish tales of contemporary history.... yes yes, contemporary, history to be... I will lay my arms and surrender to the might of the -OH... i promise to be an influenzen again.

With best regards,

signed and sent to:
Corona
Bud
Heineken
Bass
Coors
Dos Equis
Foster
Michelob
Miller
Samuel Adams
Amstel
Milwaukee
Guinness

belly leaving, belle missing !

One of the comments on crouching tigress' blog reminded me of the song belly of the whale... the song goes something like

"I'm sleepin with fishes here,
In the belly of the whale.
I'm highly nutritious here,
In the belly of the whale."

You can laugh all you want but i really like this 'un coz it totally cracks me up everytime i hear it...

Seems like my insomnia is back to its haunting ways... first the flu and now the insomnia... what's next ??? bring it on i say !!! 2006 hasn't started of great... but the upside is that it can't get any worse... So, last night i was wide awake until 5 am or so... I kept tossing in bed, so much so that, if i were a salad, i would have been wet and dripping in some sweet-n-sour italian dressing... speaking of "wet", wait for my next post to see what a cheap and perverted bastard i can be... LOL... (evil ishtyled laugh)... Anyway, i got up around 4:45 or so and booted gizmo (my laptop) with the intent of putting up a post here... and there ... BAM !!! well actually no BAM... i went Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnn... for the first bloddy time last night ... and promptly settled for the warm comforts of the rug...

and, finally... a note addressed to someone i miss so darn much....

I can talk the talk all day long,
but together we can shout it loud,
I can smile the day away,
but together we can laugh it up,
I can live a good life to my last breath,
but without you, it ain't no celebration unto death...

Life - ain't bizarre

vanilla - night ,
moi - adroit,
time - confused,
lies - speed up the truth,
magic - rush ???
emotional - flush.

perfect - tunes,
fire - without fumes,
caught - in a hutch,
situation - clutch,
under - influence,
missing - confluence,
and - so ???
fools - eat crow.

yikes !!!

I don't know how much truth there is to this article and how old or new it is, but then, here it is for you to be yiked !!!

CLICK ON THE IMAGE TO READ