done undone...

A lot has happened since i last posted anything worthwhile... Events, some wanted, some wonted, and a good share of otherwise have forced some doing, undoing and unexpected transformations. I've morphed, mutated, moved and been moved in this span...

Few things need to be set right, my head being one of them... When it comes to mind games, the heart beats the brain black-n-blue... Priorities need to be set right... Extrapolating a priori information warns me of impending doom... A part of me is a reclusive spirit and the other part, a praying mantis. The recluse has surrendered to circumstance while the mantis has few devout wishes for survival. There's also been a change in habitat, but it's going to be a while before i have a niche of my own. I've moved to Sunnyvale, and it really ain't so sunny here. The spring weather is great, especially the evenings... Perfect for playing tennis, i feel. Am yet to meet some new-found-old-friends and a certain busy entity as well :P... And oh!, a secret admirer has surfaced on the radar. Two unsolicited emails; one very effusive and the other kinda jejune... I have a feeling that it is a case of mistaken identity... Either this blog or Orkut has been the cluprit. As flattering and touching as these mails are, I can do without them, and I wish that he/she finds the right subject.

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers."

-voltaire

and then it dawned on me...

Good news does not bear any joy. It's a strange paradox that seems like burning truth in a sorry sate of affairs. I've worked, planned, toiled and sweat like never before and somehow i'm not really happy with what i got out of it. Things came much easier, when i was less stressed, less organized and less bothered. The paradigm shift has cost me dear and i wonder if maybe, just maybe, i would've been better off in my older shell. I wonder if i'm having to pay for the shift in psycho-balance. Why does an accomplishment have to remind you of what you've been through ? Why does it have to force-feed a feeling of underachievement and incompleteness ? Why does it have to ask if there is anyone else jumping with joy ( Is there ? ) ? It's said that all good things come at a price; but this one time, for the price i've paid, i feel cheated. I cheated Me. Me cheated I.

The last of pining pines and sunny mountain sides

one candle one wish

Hush little birdy
don't you cry,
feel the embrace
of the clear blue sky.

Lightning strikes
without a word,
you swirl down,
take a dip in the ford.

One flight down
with a broken wing,
you've made your way
to the lap of spring.

Washed by the stream
that guides you to the reef,
on a bed of flowers,
you lay tucked under a leaf.

The soothing wind,
the balmy breeze,
showering more flowers
from surrounding trees.

Go get your dream,
don't give up on life,
drink the nectar,
the elixir of life.

You need to fly,
you need to see,
you need to know
what it is to be free.

Shoot for the moon,
or your guiding star,
it's time to start,
you've got to go far.

To see you fly,
scaling great heights,
beaming with pride,
i'd be soaking in the sights.

So, spread your wings
and fly away,
I still believe,
you've got the zing.

But if you should fall
on a given bad day,
I'm here to guide you
like that little stream...

Dedicated to someone i so dearly adore. My little birdy, Happy Birthday.

PS: How do u like the new look ?

many a slip between the cup and the lip..

An unsuspecting victim
to my voices of treason;
ignored the dictum,
renounced all reason...

Clouding my awareness,
was darkness in the valley;
strange haunting darkness,
looking to stab me in the alley...

voices of treason - head; dictum - heart; reason - truth; awareness - desire; valley - brain; alley - life.

Question for you

When you are happily rolling on your roller chair and happen to roll it on your own feet while you are still sitting on it; your pants get caught in the rollers rendering you immobile and the only way to get your arse's weight off your toes is to fall on the ground face first and your Prof decides to walk in on you at that precise moment, then ...

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WHO DO YOU CURSE ???

Is it just me, or can you see the rabbit too ?