THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Sunday, September 10, 2006

twilight narrative

'twas supposed to be just another after hour saunter. after all 'twas the one thing i did as religiously as the dead. every night i moved to the werewolf's call under the moon lit sky. it wasn't hypnosis or halucination... it wasn't a trance; nor was it transcendental by any means... 'twas just a case of bliss by oblivion; a syndrome caused when -OH > H2O. Nothing was different today.... not yet... that would change though; tonight. when the insomniac in me woke up from a power wink, my bloodshot eyes were staring at a door. that was normal. There were termites but they dated back way beyond the oldest file archived in my memory. They seemed to be playing host to visitors and/or friends, the maggots. way not to be clanish, i thought. i didn't want to wreck the party but i had to go on with my compulsive jaunt. i pushed the door but it wouldn't budge. pushed harder and dirt sprinkled down the crack. kicked harder and more dirt came pouring down.

i fought my way out of solitary confinement. floated through the misty darkness. i should have been here yesterday but it felt like it has been ages. the monsoons made the woods dense. the undergrowth was thick. that didnt stop me from gathering some remnant memories though. but in wake of my daily jaunts, there seemed to none. no wake that is. this couldn't be a dream. it's too true to be one. but then it's not like how i remember it either. i sat on the cold stone by the little girl's grave. it was colder than usual. like it had died the last time i left. i usually liked the calm here but today the silence was deafening. too much had changed too fast. i wasn't ready for this bargain and i had to head back to the only other place i knew; the place i came from. i found my way to my tomb. a familiar epitaph with an epithet blurred by the sands of time. a few words stood out though. love. tons. loads. more. i looked at who lay beside me and then, i wished to die again...

Friday, September 01, 2006

bas ek pal hi mila tha jeene ke liye
dekh unhein hanste, hum bhi muskuraliye
wahi pal mein hum ek dastaan likh gaye
dil mein unki apni pehchaan chod gaye...

ek andhiyaari raat ko roshan karne ke liye
kisi jugnoo ki tarah hum jalte chale gaye
ek pal ka aashiyaan dhoondhne jab chale
bhatakti raahon mein khote chale gaye...

phir ek titli ke dikhaye raah pe chal diye
baharon mein khushiyan batorte chale gaye
karz rahi yeh khushiyan jeewan bhar ke liye
lutate rahe apni jaan, woh chukta karne ke liye.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

... adrift ....

Lost in a land, my very own,
where skys are blessed with a bleeding heart,
gentle shower - sweet rain,
washes tears, purges pain...
a scent of dust, very well known,
brings back memories, random darts,
while in agony with a shooting pain,
rainbow hues in the evening sky,
with a new lease of life, they save the day...
They then give way to a clear night sky,
where the moon rules in haloed ways,
and angels play with shooting stars,
a second at a time the clock ticks away...
scarlet red dawn ushers a new day,
alarm dings, reality stings,
dreamy eyed i wake up,
lost in a world my very own...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Hate Me

A gush of sudden emotion
has flash floods in my head,
a prairie of Capgras delusions
and memories' sanctuary dead...
but every one of your words echoes
as dreams die a screaming death,
but i refuse to share my woes
even as i cry tears of blood...

and all i can ever think is...
if you hate me today... ???
will you hate me tomorrow... ???
is it the only way to see what's good for you ???

All you wanted is a li'l peace
and a kiss that could hardly tell,
It is I who wanted more space
and with beaming pride i swelled...
but you did put it up in my face
when you cast love's last spell
its now an open-n-shut case
and yes, i've been felled...

and all i can ever think is...
if you hate me today... ???
will you hate me tomorrow... ???
is it the only way to see what's good for you ???

Now i burn in compunction
and you remain chary of my word,
i dont ask for compassion,
i thank your suicidal hate...
i'm waging battles with self
'n i shall never return...
for one last time i thank your help
and that smile lingers around every turn...

And all i ask for you is to...

"Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you...

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you..."

Friday, August 04, 2006

Extemporary

Lemontree got me by the scuff of the collar. There's a job to be done. A tag. So let me just get to the fun part extemporaneously.

i am thinking about...
november, a silver jag, a drive, a song, a walk, a hike, sky diving, white water rafting and a lot more with carpe diem-ish enthusiasm.

i said...
smart aleck stuff which has gotten me into a lot of trouble.

i want to...
fly kites and crash them into planes.

i wish...
for the anti-being/article/instance of what i really want.

i hear...
hymns in the dark, whispers in daylight, and the kettle drum roll before all "bada booms".

i wonder...
how people don't get tired of themselves. I've had enough of me; I want to swap souls. I also wonder if all dogs bark in the same language.

i regret...
not being opportunistic.

i am...
an important cog in a system of Gods.

i dance...
as well as anyone can with two left feet and two right hands.

i sing...
to put myself to sleep and to keep my brother awake.

i cry...
crocodile tears to pull off a shenanigan.

i am not always...
sarcastic, curt and snobbish.

i make with my hands...
a couple of shadow puppets, bad cracking noises and sad attempts at sand castles.

i write...
in spurts. With my fingers on the keyboard, i type till i have to think again. Thats when i stop.

i confuse...
people around me. Its fun to keep 'em guessing.

i need…
some favorable synergy happening to get all that i've ever wanted in my life. I need to hear a voice to get me thru' each day. I need to sense a giggle to keep me smiling. I need to work a few things out in a hurry.

I tag.......
Anu Russell
Swathi
M (tread softly upon)
Isis Panthea
Fosix
Second Wind
Truth Fairy
Neha.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase oblige. :)

Monday, July 31, 2006

... and that is how my seconds unfold...

I loved my poison,
i loved it sweet...
what's lost is forgotten
in a heartbeat...

The second scent
is only a whiff
the second shot
is but a chance

the second glance
is a final twist
to a tale as hazy
as morning mist.

the second word
does the trick
you need no sword
when words prick...

my second wish
is death's kiss
to all my dish
that went amiss...

my second turn
at an awaited tryst
guarantees an ending
so very crisp.

PS: and that is post # 100 :)

Sunday, July 23, 2006

topsy-turvy

who's to say what's top and bottom,
i'm'na turn the whole thing upside down,
tonight my imagination catches flight
and there's no stopping curiosity...

who's to differentiate right from wrong,
i'm'na turn ur perspective around,
my sight chases a distant kite,
just as my flight catches wind...

who's to say what's done can't be undone,
i'm'na flip the hourglass around,
my sails catch the westward wind,
one glide is all it takes to rediscover time...

who's to say what's whack; what's not,
counter spin your brain around,
u'll see that tizzy is the state to be,
to be high and floating around cloud nine...

who's to say what's noise from sound,
i'm'na tune u to mother nature's song,
give your brains the needed wings,
be an aide to my quest for abstraction...

who's to say what's beautiful; what's not
i'm'na turn the fish bowl around,
what you see bottom-up,
is the truth unknown top-down...