The Fellowship

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

"breast is best"

I was (still am???) a Rajya Puraskar scout. I was listed for President Scout but I couldn’t attend the camp. That’s got nothing to do with breasts. Patience. Now, to be an RP scout, you’ve got to collect various “merit” badges along the way, attend multiple training/scouting camps and clear your pratham, dwitiya and tritiya sopan testing camps to be eligible for the RP testing camp. That still doesn’t tell you why the breast is best. Behave.

One of the “merit” badges and my favorite one at that was the “Friend to Animals” badge which adorned the prize centre position of my shirt sleeve - patched with various other badges as well. I might also throw in for equal measure that I’m a big time dog lover. Yet, for all these years, I’ve failed to identify with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). Or the Blue Cross for that matter but that’s another story. To me, PETA’s been the fringe group of people comparing commercial animal facilities to Auschwitz. Anyway, to unravel the "breast is best" mystery, one has to read the following letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Ice Creams.

September 23, 2008

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, Cofounders

Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's.

Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.

Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America's number one cause of death.

Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.

And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can't produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can't even turn around.

The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.


Tracy Reiman

Executive Vice President

Ben and Jerry’s response was classic:

“We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child.”

I’m certain PETA’s done some good work but how can one take PETA seriously when their very mention is a reminder of naked women photos on billboards, magazine covers, centre page spreads and articles like these? I’d have posted their campaign posters here if not for the moral police in me which rates this blog universally readable.

So long.


Talking To My Soul said...

Ah! The Crooner is back.

That made great reading, Trevor. For, it sat light on my mind but never did
it veer away from the topic. Best, I say.

Add me. With due respect to all those who are associated with the outfit, I never took PETA seriously. To me, it was like a posterboy for the cause of animal welfare. Nothing much.


Anu Russell said...

I used to do volunteer work for Peta while I lived in Norfolk...and believe me...I turned a vegetarian...our of respect and nothing else...but beyond that everything else I saw and heard there was total BS as far as I am concerned...

I can rant about them for four hours straight...gosh! Some of the BS they said can you make you feel like throwing up and laughing at the same time...

Keshi said...

So PETA loves BREASTS now? before it was FUR and now this, hmmmm...mebbe Heather Mills McCartney is the model for it?


Trevor Penn said...

@ ttms
You bet, i'm back. :-)
Thanks. I'm glad i have company. The posterboy comment was right on!

Trevor Penn said...

@ ARTie
Good job. My mum turned vegetarian after watching Maneka Gandhi's show. However, i was just too thick skinned for that.

Like i said, I don't doubt that PETA does some good work as well. But it's their mindless drivel that bothers me.

Trevor Penn said...

@ Keshi
LOL! I'm not quite sure what they love.

The Heather Mills McCartney joke is lost on me. Can you explain?

However i doubt she's the model for any of PETA's causes. She can't hold a candle to any of PETA's postergirls. They're all insanely hot!!!

Swayam said...

i love dogs tooo... and i agree hands down... pETA is stupid..just crass commercialization of something that can easily do without it...

Keshi said...

**mebbe Heather Mills McCartney is the model for it?

by that I meant, with het bee-sting assets, PETA wont be able to get the msg across anyways!


Cinderella. said...

LOL !! That was some trivia !!

I am sensitive to animal rights though ironocally I'm a non-vegetarian, but have never been able to side with PETA, its kinda over-hyped I feel.

Thcn for sharing this.
And oh I am(was?) a presidential guide btw.

Trevor Penn said...

@ swayam
To give credit where it's due, PETA has done some good work. At the very least, as a page 3 celebrity organization, they've called attention to animal rights.

Trevor Penn said...

@ keshi
LOL! I don't know how i didn't get that. My testosterone might not have been kicking in full strength. LOL!

Her "assets" being conspicuous by absence, might just be what PETA is looking for?!?!

Trevor Penn said...

@ cinderella
I'm a non-vegetarian too. It's about drawing the line and knowing where to draw it. Thanks for chiming in. :)

And, that's so coooool. *3 fingered salute* Be Prepared. :-)

Cinderella. said...

*Does the 3 finger sign*


(This is fun, I feel like I'm in school again!)

Trevor Penn said...

@ cinderella
Weren't those the best days. :-)

rashi_pratibimb said...

was here after long...glad to see you!!
Also nice to knw that quite a few ppl have turned ghaas phoos khaane waale like me:)

Keshi said...

lol Trevor!

Absence makes the BREASTS grow fonder?


Trevor Penn said...

@ rashi
Good to see an old timer, Rashi. :-) Do keep dropping by.

Trevor Penn said...

@ keshi
I was thinking impregnation (forceful or otherwise) would favor her non-existent assets. ;-)

Keshi said...

haha true!


phoenix said...

lol! hehehehe

man u r really great with words.. i throughly enjoed reading your post.. and this was my first visit...

keep up the good work! :)


Trevor Penn said...

@ phoenix
Thank you, Phoenix. Very kind words. :-) I hope to see you here, again. I will drop by your blog at leisure.

Pinku said...

lovely post!!! enjoyed the mail by PETA a lot. they are concerned about the calfs drinking their mother's milk and not for the children who will lose out on the same if their mothers were to sell their milk?

They were joking right? Or perhaps we need to remind them that Humans are also animals and therefore have a right to their mother's milk as well.

Trevor Penn said...

@ pinku
It's ridiculous to even be discussing the possibility. Articles like these make me question world sanity. It makes me wonder if Darwin overlooked the cyclical possibility of evolution.

Aditi said...

rofl . tht was kick-ass!! really enjoyed this post.
happy blogging :)

Trevor Penn said...

@ aditi
Thank you, Aditi. Do stop by again. :-)