THE NIGHT IS MY HAVEN, MY SANCTUARY; IT CRADLES MY MUSE, MY VIGOR, MY SANGUINITY.
WHEN THEE AFTER DUSK COMETH LOOKING FOR ME, I REFLECT UPON THEE THAT'D COMETH ONTO ME.

The Fellowship

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuperr Heeeeerooooooooooooo

Every epoch in history has a superhero of it's own; someone to brag about, someone to revere and that someone whose achievements every little kid wants to emulate... No, i am not talking about the Gandhis and Boses or even the likes of Hitlers and Osama bin Ladens... I am talking about the more brawny men with the chutzpah to match... Over the years, i've dreamt of being Superman, Spiderman, Hulk, one among the GI Joe unit, Robot cop, and even Giant Robot for crying out loud. I didn't ever want to be Heman, coz he is indubitably gay and never ever would i want to be Shaktiman, coz he is just so super-duper lame and has the worst alias ever...

That was a little digression. Anywho, getting back to the point, all those super heroes and their antics are now passe. I've come of age, and want someone else to be my idol. I was looking for someone who doesn't need to save face, someone whose dressing sense is more contemporary and not tarzan-esque, and someone whose idiosyncrasies are unmatched. I only had to close my eyes for the briefest of the microseconds and pretend to think for only a quarter of that time, and i felt enlightened. A haloed image of my superhero-to-be appeared and saved my day and ofcourse this age. The good person that i am, i shall let you in, on this secret. Let me introduce him to you; but only after a few of his exploits...
  • The only time he cried was when he was born. His tears cured cancer. Too bad, he didn't cry again.
  • As a kid, his best friend was his pet unicorn (the last one ever). The unicorn caught mad-unicorn-disease, so he killed the last unicorn with his bare hands.
  • As a 14 year old, he entered a steak eating competetion. He ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour, of which he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Needless to say he won but he was arrested for being "underage".
  • To get out, he broke the prison bars with his shirt that he peed on.
  • He was a Mc Donald's all-American high school basketball player. He could roundhouse fling the ball into the basket from 75 feet every single possession.
  • In college, he turned out to be a math genius. He counted to infinity. TWICE.
  • When in college, he also perfected the art of urinating into the toilet without getting out of bed.
  • He won the all university Connect Four championship game in 3 moves.
  • He practices a new form of yoga which allows him to ingest without swallowing.
  • He has a body deformity. He has no chin behind his beard, he hides his third fist there for a surprise attack.
  • His blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It has a catalytic effect on fuel used in heavy construction equipment, tanks, fighter jets and space-crafts.
  • He now runs a successful business. His chief export is pain.
Such is my superhero... :D... And, if you haven't already guessed, let me introduce you to... oh wait... drumroll please... trumpets too and everybody is requested to stand and salute.... so yes, say hello to the one and the only CHUCK NORRIS.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Sometimes...

it often happens... no head shakes please... and yes, sometimes it often happens that the past comes back to bite you... and when it does so, it goes straight for your arse...

Friday, March 17, 2006

Back to school...

I was a KV student from 1st to 10th standard... Spent all my formative years there... Someone from the alumni group sent an email today with a wiki url for my school, which was sort of cool... But, what isn't on wikipedia right ??? I know, but it still got me reminiscing... While some of the tales from my days in school would live on to be lengends in time, this is one particular funny incident which will be lost in time... So, i thought i might as well record it here...

Anyway, Sanskrit was one of the languages we were taught in school... And Sanskrit classes genereally were a li'l too phylosophical to my liking... So one fine day, while the birds chirped, traffic buzzed, school bells rang, and the band drill sucked, our teacher decides that we the 7th standard children were grown up enough to be explained THE LAW OF CONSERVATION OF SOULS, or rather THE MIGRATORY NATURE OF SOULS... still don't get it ? Well, she was trying to convince us that the body presihed, while the soul attained a new identity and lived on, and all the associated nashwar, ashwar blah... I didn't quite buy it...

Aham: So, souls never die ?
Gajaha: They don't.
Aham: Do they reproduce ?
Gajaha: WHAT ?
Aham: DO THEY REPRODUCE ?
Gajaha: NO.
Aham: Then...
Gajaha: What then ?
Aham: Then, why is the population increasing ?

That question of mine remains unanswered till date... I got dissed by her for the next three years... Luckily for me she had no say when it came to my boards... I wish i could paste my final marks on her face...

Monday, March 13, 2006

Duh !!!

The other day, i was watching basketball with a couple of friends... One of them happens to be a PJ expert and was constantly marofying what he is good at marofying; PJs. Anyway, one of his jokes tickled the funny bone and everyone but me bursted out laughing... It's not that i didn't find the joke funny... I actually thought it was giggleworthy, but i was caught in a totally innocent moment, and with a smile on my face, i just said, "LOL". YES, i said those three letters aloud, as a substitue for laughter... and i swear, it wasn't intentional... That was my natural response to humor-stimuli, and that is when i realised, the goo in my top drawer is totally outtawhack.

Anywho, the faux pas was a cackle-breaker, and what ensued was a brief moment of deafening silence when i wished that nobody'd realised what had happened... But then, when have i ever been lucky with my wishes... After being amusingly amazed, the cronies burst out laughing again. Only this time, more fellas had joined in and i was the joke. Oh, and i did graciously join in, but i suppose i should've just said "LOL" again....

On a completely different note, it was a "sea of red" at the stadium... Fans of all ages alike, showing solidarity and supporting the team... The student section is almost always like this but this one time, the whole stadium was red. It's the most amount of red i've ever seen in one place...

Monday, March 06, 2006

...antepenultimate quarter...

I've resisted the inner thrust,
to cave in a momentous outburst;
life sometimes' such a bust,
burning angel wings to dust...
ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
if only it were unequivocally just,
i'd show faith 'n a wee bit more trust...

All is not lost in a battle of will,
for there's life without the frill...
out in the wild, i fight for my kill,
it's no dance, it's not a drill...
my foe mo-fo, welcome your peril,
for your beans, i'm 'bout to spill...

Heaven ain't setting your eyes ablaze,
it's my one shining moment in place...
gave up my worth to be a shooting star,
didnt want to be another forgotten czar...
left you in a daze with a burning scar,
memory in a haze, your end is not far...